In this episode, you will learn:
We have many layers to our patterns and unhealthy habits. So even if we’ve worked on a pattern previously and thought we dealt with it, there is most likely more depth to these patterns/unhealthy habits that need to be released and let go of. EFT can help with this
For most of us, fear will take over/control what we do and prevent us from doing the things we want to do in life. EFT tapping can help us release this fear.
Give yourself a moment, even for just 5 minutes, to just pause, sit, be, do absolutely nothing. “The pause will pay off.”
Making note of where you are starting and measuring your progress is the key to “seeing” success. Whatever that looks like for you, lessened pain, fear, judgement, or a block or stuckness you’re going through for your business.
Episode 40: How EFT Can Help You Transform
Katie Wrigley 0:05
Welcome back to the Pain Changer Podcast. This is episode 40. I have a treat for you today. Recently, I started working with Lauren Fonville, who joined us in Episode 28. To talk about EFT and its effects to help release trapped emotions in the body. I'm always looking to add to my bag of tricks for my own client sessions. And I also really wanted to experience true EFT. Since my previous attempt had been with a practitioner I wasn't really in alignment with. We will be discussing what's changed already and I am only three weeks into my eight weeks with Lauren. Stay tuned, that's coming up next. Lauren is an integrative energy practitioner specializing in EFT tapping for stress, anxiety and trauma. She guides her clients on a journey of self healing to break through obstacles, physical, mental, or emotional, that are keeping them stuck and holding them back in life or business. She believes we all have the answers within and sometimes we just need a little help accessing them. Welcome back to the Pain Changer Podcast, Lauren, thank you for being willing to come back again and talk to us more about EFT.
Lauren Fonvielle 1:21
Absolutely! Thank you so much for having me back. I'm excited to chat with you.
Katie Wrigley 1:24
Yeah, I am too. So just to level set, so the audience knows where we are. I mentioned in the intro, we've done three of the eight sessions together that I had signed up with with you. And I had reached out to you for help with the adrenal fatigue. And part of that came from this realization. Or it was so silly. I'd said before, like, “oh, I can't feel the adrenal fatigue, so I can't fix it.” That was wrong. I have feelings about the adrenal fatigue, and those I can absolutely address. So I've given Lauren full permission to discuss my case. So I want to put that out there. She is not disclosing anything, I did not give her permission to disclose. Confidentiality is very important to her as it is to me. So she is going to be sharing with open arms. So I'm going to turn it over to you, Lauren, and just start talking about what you're seeing with me with EFT and we'll discuss deeper, what's actually happening in my body.
Lauren Fonvielle 2:22
Yeah, yeah. So you know, you shared with me how you have been dealing with anxiety, and then all of the feelings that you've been having around the adrenal fatigue, how it's frustrating, and it can feel overwhelming. And then you know, how that is impacting how you were able to, like show up in your business. And I always find it fascinating how it's, you know, how we show up in one area is always going to impact how we how we show up in another area, and there's just always a connection, right, there's no hard and fast line between our personal life and our business, it's always that mash, and, you know, you were you were dealing with a lot of, I think what you described it as was like crunchiness, and your body in our first session, yep, this feeling, you know, tightness in your body. And that that's how you were carrying that, that stress, which is a common thing that I think a lot of people can relate to, that they can feel it physically, when they are carrying stress. And it can move around a little bit in your body. And I think that happened to like your awareness of where you felt it and your body started to change, like, in the back and in the shoulder. And that's something that can happen a lot. And you know, it's very common too, you know, when we call that chasing the pain, the pain starts to move. And to me, when that starts to happen, when the pain moves from one area of the body to another, it's very clear that there is an emotional component to what's going on. And we were able to, you know, you were able to describe it, like how it was feeling that crunchiness. And that's an important factor to really being able to hone in on the specifics of what you're feeling and where you're feeling it in your body. Because sometimes, when we're feeling stressed out, it can be more of this global feeling of like, I'm just overwhelmed. I'm stressed out. That's it, right. Like, I don't know what else. And so and the thing that's beautiful about tapping is that you can start there. You can start with, and I think that's what we did start with, you know, it was like I'm feeling really stressed and overwhelmed. And then it's like, okay, well what are you noticing in your body? And you notice that crunchiness and we went into the specific areas of where you felt the crunchiness and maybe how that was a little frustrating that you've been dealing with this. And then I think by the end of that first session, you felt a lot calmer. I think when, I'm just looking at my notes here and you had rated your stress level in the beginning at a nine. And when there was a pretty significant drop off by the end of that end of that session, and we always like to do that in tapping too, so that we can read it and see where we're at. Because sometimes when we tap on something, and we don't really take the time to give it a number in the beginning, it can be like, “Oh, it really wasn't that bad. No, it wasn't bad to start with.” And it's like, “oh, wait, remember, it was a nine. And now you're saying you're like a three? Like, that's a pretty distinct difference.” So yeah, it's part of the process, too. Yeah.
Katie Wrigley 5:33
Yeah. And that's in that awareness is really important, right? Unless we really mark where we are, like, you know, people say like, you can't use your GPS unless you know where you are. Right? Like, how are you going to measure your progress if you don't know where you are? So if we don't measure that it is really easy to play tricks and be like, “Oh, I was nothing. That was no big deal.” And then next thing, you know, you're drowning in that thing again, they'll be gone unchecked.
Lauren Fonvielle 5:55
Yeah, no, that's, that's exactly right. So it's really important to check in with yourself, how am I feeling physically? How am I feeling emotionally? Where would I rate myself on that scale, and that can be tricky for some people, you know, to give themselves a number. So you can just be like, I'm a little stressed, I'm medium stressed, I'm very stressed and just use that as your gauge and go from there, too.
Katie Wrigley 6:18
Yeah, that makes sense. And then after our first session, I had learned something from the root cause analysis that I did with a different practitioner, and understanding how my body was adapting to adrenal fatigue, and it had turned out and this is not going to sound like a glowing recommendation for cognomovement. But I want people to consider everything, as I'm saying this in here. And so what my body had done to adapt, is I was actually creating stress in my life, so that I had the cortisol levels go up. And then I would dump it right away. So I had feelings around that too. And I want to go into those feelings in here in a moment so that you can speak to that distinction and what's actually happening. When I had first started cognomovement, two years ago, I was no joke, drinking close to a half a gallon of coffee a day to stay awake. And then falling in the afternoon because I was artificially awake. And so cognomovement has actually made that process different for me. I still didn't have cortisol didn't have it years ago, still don't have it. It's gotten much better. And the time since I've been working with Lauren, as we got into our session today, I reported that my energy actually feels normal. And the last few nights I've been sleeping really well, for the first time in a long time without the regular battle my mind normally puts me through. Sleep is getting easy. And so is keeping stress down during the day, I'm starting to choose out of stress now that I know that that's what my body's doing. I did a separate cognomovement session, that helped as well, and then focusing again, on the emotions that I was feeling around that I brought into my session with Lauren. And if you can actually look at your notes again, because I don't remember I remember going in and being like, I think I was frustrated again. And I'm like, really? I'm like creating stress. Come on.
Lauren Fonvielle 8:18
Yes, yeah, there was definitely a frustration over that realization that, you know, you're creating this stress to function. Right. And that's, that's really frustrating to you. Yeah, you know, that second session went into a lot around business and money mindset. And, you know, you're building this business, and, you know, all of the, all of the anxiety and stress that comes with that and then how that is impacting, you know, impacting your stress levels and impacting how you're feeling, too. And so we were able to kind of dive into that a little bit more, which also, you know, kind of brought us back to some experiences that you had in your past and how those experiences with, you know, relationships and money is still impacting how you're feeling now, and the fears that are coming up. And, you know, and how that fear and that stress is also impacting you know, what you were doing in your business too, right?
Katie Wrigley 9:28
Yeah, big time. It was so, and full disclosure, because that's the way I roll is I have been creating stress, like I said, and what that look like is not pushing myself to really reach more clients reach more people, I can truly help and a lot of the patterns we worked with, to help free me from that we're, we're feeding into this. And so today after just three sessions, I still have five more. I can't wait. I'm totally going to do another episode later today to just fully put this in a nice, neat bow of everything that EFT gave me. You know, and I'm really enjoying it. There's a lot of similarities with what I do. But it's so simple in its approach. So what's actually happening to me, or to anybody else that you're working with in an EFT session? What's what's actually going on beneath the surface, Lauren?
Lauren Fonvielle 10:26
Yeah. So I think, you know, I think there's a lot of different things that can be happening in the sessions. One is we're tapping on the end points of the meridians. And the meridians are how the energy moves through the body, and sometimes that energy can get stuck, and the tapping can help to get it moving. And I know that that can kind of be a difficult concept for some people to wrap their heads around, like what, you know, your energy gets stuck. But, um, but that's what's happening, you know, kind of how sometimes like, with, I think about like, when you're, when you're eating food, and maybe you don't chew it all the way it feels like it gets stuck in your, in your, it's like the same kind of idea. Like, when, when there's that stagnant energy, and that stagnant energy gets there, because you're not acknowledging how you're feeling. And we're stuffing down those and we can only stuff so long before it's going to make itself known in some way. And by by tapping on the points, and then acknowledging how you're feeling, you're getting that emotion, that energy to start to move, and I'm sure I mentioned it in the last episode, but the definition of emotion is energy in motion, it's this idea that our emotions want to move, they want to be felt they don't want to be stuffed down and ignored. And while I can understand why people do that, right, because it's not comfortable to sit with emotions, like sadness, frustration, anxiety, you know, those things it can be, a challenging thing to sit with. But we need to sit with it, we need to feel it to heal it. And part of that process of healing is to really allow yourself to feel the feeling. So as we're tapping on the points and speaking out loud, you're getting that energy to move physically in the body. And then also, there's this component of, you know, really just beginning to acknowledge the emotions and sometimes that in itself, just saying something out loud about how you've been feeling, you can start to create this distance from it. So then you begin to start to think about it differently. And that's a beautiful thing, right? That's like part of what's happening inside the brain. Like you're creating these new neural pathways, so that you know, what was once you know, always A and then B, maybe now like, “Oh, I didn't see until that makes sense. So you're, you're seeing things a little bit differently. And that is where the cognitive shift begins to happen when you have that awareness of like, oh, wait a second, that doesn't me saying that out loud. That just doesn't feel right. You know, that doesn't that's not really true. I've been telling myself I've been believing that to be true for a really long time. Sometimes, it's like, but it's really not, you know, and that can be, that can be a very, very powerful process for someone to be like, wait a second, just give themselves that pause to hear themselves saying it out loud and tapping on the points.
Katie Wrigley 13:42
Yeah, one of my coaches said this thing in a video of “The pause will pay off.” Yeah, really does. giving ourselves a moment of stillness even if it's literally just a moment. It is amazing what that can give us. So I think what I'm hearing you say there this is just a different way to say, you said that really well, But so would it be true to say that before the session part of the lens we're looking through is absolutely affected by whatever emotion is high, whether it's frustration sadness, anxiety, depression, irritation, anger, whatever it is, that's part of what you're looking through, you free that emotion out of the way and instead of A always equaling B, now C possible because that emotion is no longer there. Is that what I heard?
Lauren Fonvielle 14:28
Yeah, it's like it's giving yourself that gift of allowing yourself to feel the thing. And that can be and that can be really scary for some people you know, like to really be like, “Okay, I'm going to allow myself to feel this anger”. Some people are scared of feeling the anger. What is that going to feel like in my body? Or, you know, I've had one client describe sadness, like she was really hesitant to feel this sadness related to a variety of things that have happened in her life because she felt like, she described it as if she was standing at the edge of a cliff. And if I allow myself to go there, it's like a freefall, and I'm not coming back from it. So it's like this fear that I'm not going to be able to control it. Right, like, and so I think there is some semblance of control, when we're stuffing everything down, it's like, “okay, I'm not feeling it, I'm not going, they're not going, they're not going there.” And while that does work for the short term, it's like, eventually that stuff is going to come out. And you know, in your case, it's like, there's like no cortisol, the stress is really high, you know, it's impacting your sleep, all of these, you know, both emotional and physical things start to happen. And so, if we allow ourselves to, to feel it, even when and even when it's scary, you know, even if, even when there's a fear associated with feeling that thing you can, with tapping what I think is great about it, you can back up, right, like, you can back up to that 1000 foot view. And you can tap on just thinking about feeling the thing is causing me anxiety. Just thinking about tapping on it is making my palms sweat, whatever is happening, whatever is coming up for you. But you can, you can tap on the thought about, you know, the thought of tapping on it, and then wait until that has gone down enough to then you know, move forward. So I think, you know, it's really important for people to know that it's a gentle practice, and that it meets you where you are. And so if the fear is really high of even going there, you don't have to dive right in, you don't have to. It can be a very gentle practice to help you to move in an authentic organic way towards, you know, healing that thing and feeling it.
Katie Wrigley 16:48
And that makes a lot of sense. Thank you for that explanation. And you're great about meeting your clients where they are like, you've you've definitely met me at any session where I'm like, “I'm not sure where I am today, oh, let's tap on that, okay”. And then it's progress. It's like, oh, and then something else comes up and something else comes up. And it you go through layer by layer, and you feel so much better. Even though I've done tons of other healing modalities, I've done more cognomovement than I can count, I was so impressed and surprised by how quickly and the enormity of the change, even though I've experienced similar in cognomovement, just the tapping alone, I was like, “Wowww! This is so cool!”
Lauren Fonvielle 17:36
Yeah, I mean, your bad experience is very similar with my experience, like, Whoa, what is happening like this is really it is cool. And it's, it's, it feels good to be able to have such a simple tool, you know, and I and you mentioned that before, like it is it's so simple. Once you know where the tapping points are. Obviously, you can tap on them, I think where people struggle is coming up with the words and knowing what to say when they're doing that on their own. So while it can be a very simple practice, there can be some complexity to implementing it. Because people don't know where to start. It can feel very, it can feel very overwhelming in the beginning. But yeah, but once you and that's why I work with people for eight weeks. That's part of the reason why I've designed my program the way that it is for two reasons. One, because I find that almost all clients have the ability to see the difference and feel the difference for whatever the issue is that they've come to me with within that eight, eight week period of time. And then the other is that within that eight week period of time, it's always my intention to empower my clients to be able to continue to do this work on their own should they choose. Or, you know, sometimes I have clients continue to work with me just because. It's nice to have somebody hold space for you and guide you through it. But it's always my intention so that you feel comfortable to be able to do this on your own. And typically, by the end of eight weeks, you know, clients are telling me oh, yeah, I tapped on this by myself, and this is what happened, you know, you start to be able to unfurl it easily.
Katie Wrigley 19:13
And that makes sense. You know, I kind of compare this to going to the gym, right? You can go to the gym on your own, you'll get a great workout, you are not going to get the level of workout you're gonna get with a personal trainer. And EFT is the same way you have been trained, you know what prompts to give, you know how to meet your client there, that's all within your training. You're the extra value. So yes, someone can do this on their own but the value of working with you as the practitioner, you are holding that space and you're looking at it through your completely unbiased lens, right, which is going to be a different result for the person than the person doing that on their own with the bias with the lens there. You aren't going to be able to see the same thing that Lauren sees.
Lauren Fonvielle 19:58
Exactly. That's exactly Right, it's, it's having an outside set of eyes to give you a different perspective. And, you know, and even as a practitioner myself, I work with practitioner for that very reason.
Katie Wrigley 20:09
Right! Yeah, we all do like people who want to heal, work with other healers because we're aware of our own limits, you know, people who want to thrive in business, hey, guess what, they work with their mentors. And It's not a one and done, you continue to do it, when it's something that really matters to you, and my health and wellness have become a massive priority, as I think they should be for everybody. Because when your health is gone, you got nothing, trust me. Life is rough, if you don't have good health.
Lauren Fonvielle 20:38
I like to equate it to gardening, right? Like, you can't just like go and pick the weeds. You know, one time or, if you pick the, you know, dandelion, you pick the flower off there, it's still gonna grow back, you pick the flower and the leaves, it's still gonna take a little bit longer, but it's gonna grow back. But you can go in there and pull the thing out at the root and find real relief from it. But that's not to say that you're not going to have to go and do some gardening and pull some more weeds in the future, right? Like this really is not a one and done thing. And I mean, I can say that with clients that, you know, maybe have worked with other other practitioners before and, you know, a thing from their past comes up, something comes up from their past. And it's like, “Oh, I have done the work on this, like why is this coming up again?” And it's like, “Okay, well, there's still work to be done” right? Like, it can be frustrating. Like, as humans, it's like “I've done it, I thought I dealt with this”, like, you know, but I can't tell you how often things like that come up. Because, you know, sometimes it's something else that triggers it, but brings back that memory. And that's not to say you can't get to the root of a problem and really release it. But it's also maintenance, there's maintenance that needs to be done.
Katie Wrigley 21:54
Right.. And there's layers to everything I've seen, you know, my one of my one of the first coaches I worked with Melanie Curtis, she had mentioned in one of her own podcast episodes one time that she was doing a ceremony and she's very open about that I'm not going to go down that rabbit hole. But she said something that at the time, I didn't really understand and that was that she was surprised by the depth of the emotion by how deep so much of what she was processing went and that just came to mind as you were saying that is that we have this depth and I like the gardening analogy because I sometimes equate it to hostas. So Hostas are great leafy things. They're also dear candy and I don't want them in my garden. Because I spend a lot of time in my garden, I do not want to be feeding the deer in my garden. But if you do not get every little bit of that hosta root, and those buggers go way deep and way far, if you do not get every route, it's coming back. Yep. And I swear those hostas in my yard are like an indicator of like, “Oh, there's a hostas again. Okay, but what else is here?”
Lauren Fonvielle 23:07
Right. The lessons, the lessons. I mean, because we are, we are complex human beings with so many different experiences. And all of those experiences have emotions attached to them. And sometimes those experiences, especially ones from our childhood and our past, that are way down deep that we've like stuffed down there are still impacting us presently. And there might not be that cognitive awareness around it. But then when you start tapping on, you know, the stress and anxiety that you're feeling right now in this moment, and then you have this memory pop up of some sort of, you know, exchange with a person in the past, you’re like, “Okay”, you know, you don't necessarily think that there's a connection there. But that's coming up for a reason. And the reason is to explore it and see what it is, you know.
Katie Wrigley 23:54
And that actually, now that you mentioned that that happened to me, and I think our second session, I suddenly had a picture of me and my hiking clothes. My hair was longer. So I'm like, “Oh, I think this is old me”. And, you know, with your guidance as “Oh, this was a message for old me. Okay, cool.” We didn't integrate this at the time. Now we can. And the body responded and moved forward. But yeah, that exact thing happened in one of our sessions.
Lauren Fonvielle 24:18
Yeah. Yeah. And I think what I love about tapping too, is that there's so many nuanced techniques with it. So in that example, it was like, Okay, what are you feeling? Do you get any sort of picture in your mind and you're a visual person and you've got that picture in your mind and, and then you can tap on you know, you can tap on that on that picture. And an example I give is of one of my clients, she was dealing with a lot of anger and frustration and when I asked her to kind of close her eyes and what, where she felt that in her body, she felt it in her chest. And I asked her if there was any sort of image that came to mind and she got this picture of a volcano. And it was, you know, the volcano was erupting. And she was standing at the bottom of the volcano and you know, that in itself was causing anxiety. And so, the picture of this volcano, and, you know, the colors of the volcano and the rocks around volcano, you know, she's describing it to me, and we're just using those words and tapping. And as we continue to tap, you know, different things are coming to her mind. And then as we check back in, I'm like, is the picture changing at all and slowly, but surely, she's getting further and further away from the volcano, she still sees the volcano, but her vantage point is, is different. And when she's looking at it from a different perspective, you know, there's some, there's some beauty in it, you know, and then was able to relate that back to what she was going through personally. And it can be, it can be amazing what, what our minds, you know, picture in that way, and we can work through in that way and the awareness that comes from
Katie Wrigley 25:55
Yeah, it's incredible, and that the picture that came up was so vivid too. And I love what you said there that the perspective change from being scary to something that at a distance was beautiful. So often, I think we wind up, not really looking at the importance of a perspective shift. Like that's everything. And that doesn't mean forcing one that doesn't feel natural. It's not going to the polar end of the spectrum and forcing yourself to feel that way. It's just opening up to maybe there's a different reason, maybe, maybe there's something else that's going to be less painful for me, and what would that be?
Lauren Fonvielle 26:37
Right? Yeah, what would I need to think for this to be different? Yeah.
Katie Wrigley 26:41
Yeah, you know, and we so often we think, Oh, it's just a thought or an emotion. That is where the torture and the suffering comes from. You know, I'm thinking of what I was telling you earlier that last week, a bald eagle was stocking one of my cats. And it is the thought in the emotion behind what could happen to my cat that makes this torturous. Yeah. So if we're trying to minimize that thought and emotion, imagine what that's doing.
Lauren Fonvielle 27:13
Right? And yeah, inside of our inside of our bodies, if we're not acknowledging it, and we're just letting it do its thing, and it's swirling around.
Katie Wrigley 27:21
Like, there's a reason we get upset when something happens to someone, we love them, because we care about them. And even if it isn't happening to us, we have empathy and compassion, through emotions, through thoughts that we're projecting onto someone else, and we are then struggling and suffering with them when someone we love hurts. So keep that in mind. Anytime you think, “Oh, it's just a thought or an emotion.” Great. If it's just a thought or an emotion. Face it? You're gonna feel a lot better.
Lauren Fonvielle 27:53
Yeah. Don't Don't keep running from it. Allow yourself to feel it. Allow yourself to sit with it. And Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, she, she's done studies on this, but if you allow yourself to feel the emotion for 90 seconds, just 90 seconds, there's going to be a shift. Yeah. And, you know, it's just really, it's just really interesting to combine that with the tapping, there's just something about the somatic practice of actually tapping while you're, while you're saying things out loud. That, I don't know, it makes it all makes it all work.
Katie Wrigley 28:30
It does and letting go of the how is more important to notice. Like we really talked about what was happening, not how is this possible? I can't answer the how. The how is this is just the way humans are constructed. So in order to get free of our pain, we're gonna want to feel it. That's just the way we are as humans, I can't tell you why. But the what is really important and letting go of the how, just allow it to be and marvel at the miracle that is your body and all of its intricacies how it works together.
Lauren Fonvielle 29:05
Yeah, I mean , and it's like your inner self is really your inner guide. And it's this practice of tapping into that. And, you know, what is my body telling me right now, you know, that connection between the mind and the body. What am I feeling? What am I thinking? How are those two things connected? And when we're able to, you know, quiet the outside noise and go within, the answers are there, you know. The answers are there as for as to what's the next thing that that we need to do or, you know, shifting from that feeling of, let's say, frustration in my business and not being able to attract the clients to being like, “Okay, I know I can I know the clients are out there.” And, you know, like, this morning when we got on the call, and you were saying, you know, I It's like I have blinders on. I know what I'm going to do like I'm very focused. And you know, that was also a big shift from about that. But that was a big shift from where we were the week before. And like your frustration level, right? It was like, dipped into, all right, like, and it's okay to feel frustrated, like being okay like allowing yourself to feel that. It's like, I can feel frustrated. And I can also be like, This is what I need to do. Like, I'm going to make a plan, and I'm going to do it. And I'm going to take action, because if we allow ourselves to just sit in the suckiness of the frustration, that's where, you know, you don't take the action, and you don't do the things to move yourself forward. To feel better in life and in business.
Katie Wrigley 30:42
That's where we wallow. Yeah. If we just sit in it, and we don't take any action, the wallowing begins. Yes. And you know, and I do want to, that's a great point. I'm glad you brought that up last week. I'm like, “I'm so overwhelmed. I'm going to need to streamline that.” And this week, I'm like, “I'm overwhelmed. I got this”. Yeah, a lot of that is the EFT that I'm doing with you. So thank you so much, you know, and I, in the interest of full disclosure, again, I am taking supplements that are naturally helping my body at the same time. And I'm speeding up the process and the effectiveness of the supplements by getting rid of all the crap that is in between me and how I want my body to feel and be.
Lauren Fonvielle 31:25
Yeah, and I think that's the great thing about tapping is that it can be used alongside any other modality or, you know, practice that you're doing, it can complement it very nicely.
Katie Wrigley 31:38
Yeah, absolutely. I agree. So I would love to hear what are some of the other success cases, I want to just really speak to why anybody would want to try out EFT? So I have lots of reasons. But I want to hear from you.
Lauren Fonvielle 31:53
Yeah. Well, I mean, I've lots of stories, one of the most recent ones that I, as a practitioner, I'm just thrilled for my client, she came to me with a fear of going on the elevator. And it was really impacting her life because she couldn't go to Manhattan and go to a hotel. So it was like impacting her relationship, because her partner wanted to do that. And, you know, it was just, it was causing a lot of problems. She had to go to a meeting for work and the elevator and there was only an elevator, you know, all sorts of things. It was just impacting her day to day. So we work together for eight weeks. A lot of what came up in those sessions went back to childhood, you know, she never had any sort of traumatic event in an elevator that, you know, logically would make sense, right? Like, oh, it's in an elevator, then yeah, maybe you would have a fear of elevators. But that never happened. So she had never had any sort of specific event. And this is I think this is a good point to like, you don't always have to get to what made the shift. She used to be able to ride in elevators, when she was in her 30s. And then, as she continued to age, she started to have more anxiety about being in the enclosed space. And then, you know, she's in her mid 50s Now, and it was really impacting her life. And she had seen something about tapping and was like, I'm gonna see if this works like, you know, she's tried other things. That didn't work. And you you don't have to get to the root of like, what happened? Did something happen that caused this trigger, right, like, like, there wasn't like some specific thing that happened that caused this or if there was, we didn't have to get to that for her to find relief from it. So we worked together for eight weeks, a lot of this stuff went back to childhood and feelings of needing to feel safe and in control. And by the end of the eight weeks, the day after our session, she was taking a trip to California. And so she had to fly out of Philadelphia. And she said when she got to the airport, her and her partner were walking with their luggage. And then her partner said, “Just give me your bag. Because, you know, she assumed that she was going to go and find the stairs because she was taking the elevator. And she was like, “No, I got this.” And so she got in that elevator and she read she was like, you know, her partner was like, “Are you sure?” She's like “No, I'm good”. And she got in the elevator and she wrote it. And she emailed me halfway through her trip and she said “I have gone on every single elevator. It's unbelievable. Like I've made this there's definitely been a shift” you know, like if she started to feel no nervous or something, she would use the tapping, but she was able to do it. It wasn't like, you know, there, she had explained that there were experiences in her life where she would want to go on, you know, onto the elevator and like, she literally couldn't do it. Like she couldn't make herself get on there. And so this was like she had this tool that was able to, you know, regulate her nervous system enough that she was able to do it. And then she was so proud of herself. So like, her excitement around that was just like, you know, thrilling to me because that can really be life changing for someone you know,you don't have to plan your trips around elevators.
Katie Wrigley 35:35
Right. And it can seem like such a small thing, but it has a massive impact. So what do you think is gonna happen if she continues to do EFT when she's feeling emotions around the elevator? Where do you see this going for her, Lauren?
Lauren Fonvielle 35:50
Yeah, I mean, I think that she'll be able to continue to ride on them and not have that worry, not have the fear, you know, and not have the physical response to have like heart racing, sweating, feeling out of control, and she could still feel in control. While she's in this enclosed space that, you know, maybe it might still not be the most comfortable, you know, might not be her favorite thing to do, but that she's not going to let it stop her from doing the things that she wants to do.
Katie Wrigley 36:21
So it's an easier response in the body, it's now less stress, less toll taken on the body for her to do what feels like a regular activity to other people. It was a big deal to her.
Lauren Fonvielle 36:33
Right. Exactly, exactly.
Katie Wrigley 36:35
Oh, that's so cool!
Lauren Fonvielle 36:37
Yeah, yeah, I mean, then I have, I had another client who came to me with shoulder pain. And it was just really intense, there was no physical explanation as to why she had it. You know, she'd gone to the doctor and had scans and everything. But then as we continue to tap, we realize that they're like, the pain had started when she started going through a pretty rough divorce. And then describing the pain, you know, she described the pain as if someone was strangling her, and that in the end, the words that she used, you know, that someone was strangling her that really gave her pause, like, it came out of her mouth, like, almost automatically when I asked the question, what does it feel like? And she's like, feels like somebody's strangling me. And then she was like, Oh, I have never said that, like, so there was like a kind of like, oh, what what was that? You know? And then, you know, after recognizing that, and recognizing that it started around the time that she was going through the separation, and there was like, there were physical abuse issues that were going on there. And, you know, all of the emotion around that whole situation and the struggle with the divorce. She found relief from the pain. Yeah.
Katie Wrigley 37:52
Wow. I love Louise Hayes' book and all of her work. And so she had said, the shoulders are burdened. You know, so it makes sense. This is weighing on her in this divorce. Yeah. And it stays there until you get the emotion, the energy out of the body.
Lauren Fonvielle 38:08
Yeah, I mean, that's like that book, The Body Keeps the Score, right. And the Body Keeps the Score, the body is gonna hold on to the stuff until you allow yourself to feel it and let go of it.
Katie Wrigley 38:21
Yep. Yeah. And once we start to do that, to let it go, our body literally unwinds. It lets it go, it starts to experience calm, peace, the parasympathetic nervous system actually gets a chance. That's the one that helps you chill out. The sympathetic is your fight or flight, you get more into that parasympathetic system where your neurology is like, “Oh, hey, good, I can breathe. No tiger on my butt.”
Lauren Fonvielle 38:49
Right? That's exactly it, that amygdala is firing constantly. And, and you feel calmer in your body. And then when you feel calmer in your body, you can make better decisions, you can think more clearly.
Katie Wrigley 39:01
Yeah, and you'd said I don't remember what it was at, at the start of this episode. As we were talking, you had said something about, I was linking different systems together. And I laugh at myself, my former self and also just some of the models we see out there where you're separating all the pieces of health, like dental health, from mental health, from physical health, from back health, from foot health, like, you are one friggin person. Hey, guess what all of that stuff is wrapped up in one. And if you think that what is happening your body is not affecting the outside world. I'm sorry, but you are wrong.
Lauren Fonvielle 39:45
Yeah. It’s definitely impacting how you're how you're showing up and I like to I mean, I'd like to talk about that like, you know, because we talk about a lot how the outside world impacts how we feel but our in inside world where we can go inside and tap into that calm, that calm place of being centered and grounded, that can have just as big of an impact on the external world. So yeah, being able to, you know, just quiet the mind, tune in, allow yourself to just be because in this crazy world, we really don't, oftentimes, give ourselves enough time to simply be.
Katie Wrigley 40:26
Now we do not. And this is your permission to just be, even if it's for five minutes, just being. Everything will be there on the other side of the five minutes, I promise, it's not gonna go anywhere. If you're not doing anything about it, like it'll be there. Give yourself that space, let yourself start to decompress. Downregulate. What would you say, you're most proud or I don't know how you'd want to word this, you know, because you're clearly out for your clients best interest, not your own. And I love that. I think pretty much everybody who's in the energy feeling space is in no one, no one that I know is out for themselves. They are out to be an advocate for their client. And that was one of the big shifts for me is I really started to understand the value that I bring. And that's changing everywhere that I show up because of that. So what would you say as you look at that, what is the client and all the time you've been doing this? What's the one that stands out the most that had the biggest change that really, like just sticks in your mind of like, holy cow, that was amazing.
Lauren Fonvielle 41:35
Yeah. Oh, there's just so many, I mean, so I have one client that came to me. And she was in a job that she did not like, she felt very stuck, she was dealing with a lot of anxiety, stress. She really struggled with boundaries. And speaking her truth, speaking up for what she really needed, right connected to the boundaries. And so we worked together, we probably working together for about six months. And her work life had gotten more, I would say, more tolerable, right, like she was able to create those boundaries with her co-workers with her boss, and that she felt a little bit a little bit better in the office. And then, and then she, you know, came to me said that she was you know, she was ready. She was leaving, she was leaving that job. She was going to trust the universe, do things differently. Left, started her own business, wrote a book. And yeah, and like, you know, we've been working together now for two years. The transformation out of her is mind blowing. And to seeing like, you know, she was just like, so she was so timid and had so much anxiety like that she was just, it just makes me think of a little like, curled up, right. And now it's like, she's just blossomed, and she's doing the work that she's passionate about, and sharing it with others and having a beautiful impact on the world and being true to herself. And then sharing that with everyone, sharing that light. Yeah, so that's probably my favorite vacation. Yeah,
Katie Wrigley 43:27
that is massive to go from timid to having your own business. And not only that, but writing a book about putting yourself out there. Like, that's the opposite of timid, like, you do that when you're timid. Whoa, like, I don’t know of anybody who could.
Lauren Fonvielle 43:41
There was a lot of anxiety about judgment and what people would think, and you know, the fear of putting yourself out there and all of that, yeah, that was definitely part of everything that we worked through. But once she like put her mind to, like, I'm doing this, like, it was fast, like she got that thing done, written out. You know, impressive, very, very impressive. And I think that just goes to show that when we put our minds to something, and we believe that it's possible, and we trust and we are in alignment with like, our higher selves, right, like we connect with that energy. But it's limitless, the possibilities are limitless.
Katie Wrigley 44:23
I absolutely, I couldn't agree with that any more. I fully agree with that. It's amazing what we can do when we get out of our own way. Like, and you do see those rapid changes, you know, and that's, that's a big thing that shifted in me is I really connected emotionally to what I'm doing. And I really also connected and could so clearly see the value that I'm bringing already even before the businesses where I wanted to be. I'm bringing value and that's important. Yeah, but I couldn't see that through the other lenses. And so I was getting in my way constantly, because I was frustrated “welp let's just keep the frustration going, because we don't know what to do without it. “Right? We do and it doesn't make any sense. And that's okay.
Lauren Fonvielle 45:12
Yeah, no, it is okay. I'm like, you know, the resistance is going to show up in ways that our body listens to it. And so you know, and then once we, once we can shine a light on that and kind of bust, bust it up, it gets out of the way, and then we can full steam ahead.
Katie Wrigley 45:32
You know, and I just noticed, so one of the things that we focused on on the crunchy areas was my shoulder, and it's still the residual of frozen shoulder, it never really fully froze. But it's been bugging me for years. But I just realized, as I'm sitting here talking like it's curling inward to protect my heart, is what my body is doing. I'd let people hurt me so much in the past. And this really started around the time I was married and divorced. That was within the span of a year. That was a really bad idea. But my shoulder started to turn inward to protect my heart at that time, and I just realized, it's, it's not where it shouldn't be yet, but it's not as far forward as it was a few weeks ago.
Lauren Fonvielle 46:15
Oh that’s amazing!
Katie Wrigley 46:16
So thank you for that, Lauren! That I know is the energy healing because I'm not doing anything else on my shoulders right now to focus and have that effect. That is purely the energy.
Lauren Fonvielle 46:29
Yeah, that’s amazing. And then it's just amazing how it's all connected, right? And like, so we did a little bit of tapping on your shoulder, but we did probably the majority of tapping on other issues, but yet still, you notice a difference in your shoulder because everything is all connected?
Katie Wrigley 46:45
Yeah. Yeah. So can you tell us again, where people can find you, Lauren? And do you have a freebie that you would want to offer anybody today? Who is really eager to try this out for themselves?
Lauren Fonvielle 46:58
Yes, absolutely. So you can find me on my website, which is mindshiftwithlauren.com. And then I do have a free masterclass, which goes into a lot of the details around the science behind what's happening with tapping and it walks you through an experience because we can really talk about this till we're blue in the face, but until you've actually tried it yourself, that's where the real magic happens. So the masterclass is you can find that at mindshiftwithlauren.com/masterclass. And that's a free masterclass for everyone. And then I also have a free group. So if you are an entrepreneur and you find that you are struggling with anything from fears of putting yourself out there to you know, concerns around finding your ideal client, whatever it may be. I've put together this entrepreneur circle, and we come together on the first Thursday of every month at 11am. It's all done virtually on Zoom, and you can sign up for that. And to get reminders on that at mindshiftwithlauren.com/tap-into-success. And, yeah, I'd love to see you there.
Katie Wrigley 48:20
Thank you, yes! And I am in that group and hoping to make it this month but I plan to make next month and just shift a little bit of my morning. So I can do that. Because that sounds like a really powerful experience, we'll make sure that we've got everything with the proper links in the show notes so that you can just go in there, click directly and go do some work with Lauren. I highly recommend her. I am blown away by how much has happened in just the three weeks. It's really similar in a lot of ways to what I do, and I'm just marveling at the results of EFT.
Lauren Fonvielle 48:57
Oh, thank you for sharing your experience with everyone. I appreciate that.
Katie Wrigley 49:00
Yeah, of course. I mean, that's one of the things I committed to do is, you know, really be transparent. There's things you know, some of what we're working through together. Like I had mentioned before, I'm not ready to talk about it publicly yet. But when I am I'll be referring back to hey, this was what else was going on. But I'm a big fan of letting things heal before I really speak to them. And I'm just very comfortable talking about my health at this point. It's just it is what it is. So I'm just very comfortable to share. So thank you so much for coming back, Lauren. I love meeting with you and hearing from you, love the way that you work and all the goodness that you're putting out there in the world. Thank you for the work that you're doing.
Lauren Fonvielle 49:40
Oh, thank you. Thank you. It's an honor to work with you.
Katie Wrigley 49:44
Thank you and thank you my listener for joining us again today. I hope you'll come back with me again next week.