Episode 46: Self Love & Acceptance as we Age
In this episode, you will learn:
- The difference between denying your age and accepting your age
- How and why certain lines are developed on the face
- How facial acupuncture can help shift not just aging lines, but deeper energy within the physical body
- How Carine’s work can help lower symptoms of menopause, PCOS and other painful conditions
Episode 46: Self Love & Acceptance as we Age
Katie Wrigley 0:00
Welcome back to the Pain Changer podcast. This is episode 46 and I am your host Katie Wrigley. Today, we are going to take a softer look at ourselves with grace. Today is going to be all about self love, and self affects acceptance, and holding on to that love as we age. Loving yourself is a critical part of your wellness journey and being able to shift those negative thoughts you may feel about yourself as you watch yourself grow older, and maybe lose the drive to do things that you used to do. That can not only be powerful, but it can be powerful to a point it can change your life to be able to shift those negative thoughts as we’re coming in. Today’s guest is joining me to discuss exactly this topic, as well as how those negative emotions and thoughts are impacting your body and the speedier aging. Stay with me that is coming right up.
Welcome to the Pain Changer podcast, where you will learn insider tips and tricks to help you improve your pain levels without the nearly daily trip to the doctor or heavy pain medications. When you change your mind, you will change your experience with pain. Every week, the Pain Changer podcast will teach you new ways to tune into your body in order to change your mind. If you had to scrape yourself off the bed like your undercooked pancake on an ungreased pan this morning. You’re in the right place. Now, here’s your host, Katie Wrigley.
Katie Wrigley 1:23
Carine Camara discovered the healing powers of acupuncture and Chinese medicine for her battle of digestive issues, acne, menstrual pain, headaches, chronic fatigue, and much more. Throughout this journey, she strived to help others experience the miraculous healing potential of their bodies along with confronting how we view aging from the inside and out for lifestyle brands. Carine, I hope I’m saying that right was birthed a desire to change the conversation around aging and how to utilize a holistic approach to change the energy flow throughout the entire body. This leads to better sleep, increased energy and better digestion, but can also radiate the outside to create an undeniable glow. Well, I cannot wait to dig into this one. Welcome to the Pain Changer podcast. Carine, I am so grateful you could join me today.
Carine Camara 2:17
Thank you so much for having me. It’s an honor.
Katie Wrigley 2:19
Thank you. So would you be willing to share a little bit about your story that led you into this work that you’re doing today?
Carine Camara 2:27
Yeah, so I’ve always been into holistic health because I had these chronic issues growing up, the acne, the digestive and all of this. And at 20, I totally started to shift my diet. And that was like my first gateway into this holistic world. And at the time, I was really, I was 20. But I was really freaked out about aging and getting old and getting sick. And how can I prevent all of that from happening? And then I shifted my diet. So I became plant based, I stopped eating sugar, I stopped alcohol, or at least I avoided it because I was in college. So I stopped writing. And I really started to examine like, what does it look like to age well, and so you know, obviously, you’re young, so you’re not you know, I wasn’t thinking about it too much. But it was in the back of my mind. And I went to acupuncture school. And that became a focus for me in my acupuncture practice, because of all the things I was noticing about my own health, like I was having menstrual pains, and all of these things, and acupuncture helped shift all of that. And then I started this whole path of spirituality and trying to understand who I am and what I want to bring to the world and unlocking all the childhood traumas and pains and all the stories I was having, and how that heaviness was aging me in a way, like I was in my 30s when I was just like, carrying all this pain, you start to start to weigh on you physically, and it could have manifests in illness, and it also is on your shoulders and your face. And that was like, you know, it’s like, you know, it started to kind of start in a way where it was kind of vain. I was like, I don’t want to look angry. Right. And I was just like, well, I also want to release the anger that’s also affecting my internal organs. So that was really how it all started. It was kind of figuring out the emotion that I was carrying, how it was, how it was affecting my body and how it was affecting how I looked in the world and how I presented in the world, because we’re also sensitive to energy. So if I’m walking around with this anger may not necessarily be something I’m verbalizing, but it’s in my energy and people respond to that. Yeah, so all those nuances I was trying to understand and then when I hit 40 I had this whole freakout about I’m getting old, and which is not old, but you know, I was having this moment of like, oh my god, I’m midlife. What does this mean? And how can I enjoy my life and not feel like I’m getting old and I feel like society, at least when you’re going on internets, and there’s not a lot for mid midlife, there’s, there’s a lot for young people and then old, but the midlife area, I feel like there’s a big gap where there’s not a lot of conversation around what does it look like, as a 4050 year old? Because it’s not like the Golden Girls that was a different era than these. Right. Blanche was only 52. I still can’t get that out of my mind. 52 in that show, like a granny, you know, but though I loved her, and she was my she was my favorite. But that’s not that old 50 isn’t that old anymore? And it doesn’t look like that. Oh, you know? No, right?
Katie Wrigley 5:40
I’m reacting over here. I’m like, four years older than me now, like, oh, my God.
Carine Camara 5:45
Exactly. Exactly. You know, our medical system, the way that we take care of our bodies, there’s all this mindset work, all this consciousness that has happened in the last 20 years, that has shifted the way that we age. And I feel like it’s important to bring that to light to say, hey, 40 is not the same as it was in the 50s, and 60s, and even 70s, you know, and we have an opportunity to live a very positive life until the end. And I feel like when I was young, it was kind of like you grow up at a certain point, you get sick, and you take medications for the next 20 years, and then you die. And I’m like, is that the reality that needs to happen? Is there another way that I could live now to prevent that from happening in the future. And also, I feel like, if you don’t deal with the emotional traumas and pains that you have accumulated in your life, I feel like as an older person, that becomes harder and harder. And it really becomes, you become rigid, you become a rigid person, you physically become rigid, your face becomes hard. And I have wanted for many years to soften all of that. So like that’s been okay, how do I soften all of that in my body and in my face? And in my energy system? How can I get into that level of grace, which is why I call it graceful aging, because it’s letting go and allowing grace for yourself and also the others around you. And finding that place of being comfortable with who you are, and being joyful at every moment that you can.
Katie Wrigley 7:16
I love that there’s so much that you said there that was just beautiful. And I just want to thank you for your focus and the work that you’re doing in the world. I’m really, you’re really opening my mind as I’m listening to you talking here and looking at this from the perspective of aging. And I was kind of meshing my own story. And I remember when I was in my early 30s, someone told me, oh, you should start going to get botox now before you need it. And at that moment, I was like, no, no. Botox may work for other people. My body is hypersensitive, the chance of me having a goose egg coming out is pretty high. Like I wouldn’t be that beautiful, perfectly expressionless forehead, I would be the one that would look like a freak until I went away. And I just, I just decided that wasn’t for me. But I, yeah, I told I was like, I’m gonna be
Carine Camara 8:12
I’m gonna be the one that they’re gonna hit a nerve. And then I’m gonna all of a sudden have a messed up eye for life.
Katie Wrigley 8:18
Right. And we have these stories. And they’re, they’re probably not even true, but we learn them because we’ve learned that our bodies are extra sensitive. And I don’t know about you, Carine. But the holistic approach is so much better for the sensitive body, it’s so much easier. And now I’ve gotten all that crap out of my system. Being in this holistic, natural way of being is just things just resolved so much quicker. And my body and I look younger than I did 10 years ago or two, which is great.
Carine Camara 8:47
Yeah. Yeah, we’re age, we age backwards, we age backwards.
Katie Wrigley 8:52
We, too, as we deal with our stuff.
Carine Camara 8:57
I mean, it’s hard. You know, it’s hard, because I think a lot of women and men, all of us want to be attractive, right? On a certain level. We all want to feel beautiful. We all want love and attention and sexuality. I mean, that’s just part of the human makeup. And there is something to be said about the way that we’re conditioned if, especially women, if we lose our looks, we’re not going to get any of that. And so I can understand that. But at the same time, I’m like, is it worth putting a neurotoxin in your skin every three to six months? I don’t know. I mean, so for some people, that’s a decision that they make. And I’m like, I feel like we don’t know enough in terms of scientific research on the side effects of botox long term, because botox is still relatively new. So I would like to see more research in the next 50 to 60 years on what’s really happening within the body before I can make a judgment on it. You know what I mean? Because maybe it is fine and nothing really nothing will happen but we just don’t know. And I think for me, because there’s so much uncertainty around the side effects of botox, I would rather do a holistic approach. So of course acupuncture since I’m an acupuncturist is always going to be my go to for wrinkles and maintaining healthy skin. It’s a slower process, it’s more of a holistic process, and you’re never gonna look like you got botox because botox completely removes all movement. But I love it, I think you get a natural glow. And I think the women that I’ve worked with that have gotten my facial acupuncture treatments, they just look refreshed, they look rejuvenated. And some of the lines are still there. I mean, I think you, I think we also need to accept that aging, you do get some wrinkles, and that’s okay. Having smile lines, and having, you know, the pros around your eyes means you smile a lot, and you have joy in your face. I think that’s beautiful. I mean, there’s certain parts of it that I feel like we need to accept as okay, we’re getting older, so our skin’s gonna age. But let’s make it look the best that it can look at, you know what I mean? So instead of trying to erase it, why don’t we embrace it and make it look radiant from the inside, because I think we’ve all seen older women that are in their 80s that have wrinkles, but looks so fabulous, because they have so much light in their eyes, they look they’re laughing, they look gorgeous, in spite of the wrinkles, and so I think if we can move to that space of finding ways to nurture our skin, take care of our skin, but at the same time focus on our heart energy that what I that’s what I feel like gives you that youthful glow, not necessarily worrying from the outside in.
Katie Wrigley 11:38
I love that. And you know, you said something really important there about the quick fix with botox. And my understanding is botox is actually botulism, which which you ingest can kill you. So that’s something to consider and no judgment, anybody who decides that for themselves. But I’m, I’m similar to you and your train of thought. I would rather do it naturally holistically, in a way that my body is responding to. And I didn’t always have that patience. But now I do because now it’s kind of fun to watch a progression. So how exactly does facial acupuncture work? Like, what does that look like? I’ve done regular acupuncture. But can you go into a little bit of detail about what you’re doing with clients and what you’re seeing, like before and after, as they’re coming out? And not just you know, aesthetically, but it sounds like there’s some deeper healing that’s going on beneath the surface, too.
Carine Camara 12:32
Yeah, so the face has about 45 muscles. So I mean, there’s a lot of muscles in the face. And we it’s very expressive. So we show our emotions in our face pretty much all day, even if we’re not seeing anything, our facial expressions communicate almost anything and everything to people, right, people can look at somebody’s face and kind of gauge what’s going on there. Right? So a lot of the time, so with acupuncture, one of the things I love about it in terms of the face is that it relaxes the muscles, because most of us are holding so much tension in our face, this. And so acupuncture softens that. So the mech-, the mechanics of acupuncture is you put the needles in any part of the body and the body relaxes. And it also brings more blood in circulation to that point. And so more blood comes, that means more oxygen comes. And your body also is recognizing that something is foreign to you. Like you put something foreign in the body. And the body’s like, hey, this isn’t supposed to be here. And then the immune system starts to get activated, because it’s like, okay, we need to push out whatever’s there. So that’s kind of how acupuncture works, but it works on helping your body produce more. So we’re encouraging your body to heal. So by putting needles in the face, you were creating, like micro traumas where the body’s like, Okay, we need to bring more blood here, we need to bring more oxygen, we need to bring more white blood cells, we need to repair what’s going on. And in that way, you’re, you’re increasing the collagen production. So you’re helping your body produce more collagen and more elasticity. Because your body’s like, okay, we need to fix what’s happening here. And in that healing, you are now reducing the fine lines and wrinkles because we’re putting needles directly into the wrinkles and into the lines in the face. Certain areas of the face hold more emotional pain, smile lines, like the smile line, that’s one of them, like women that are men that frown a lot. So they have that line that goes from the sides of their mouth that goes down when people are frowning, kind of like the clown face. Yeah, as you know, as we get older, our whole face starts to drop. And if you’re somebody that naturally frowns, because you’re sad all the time or upset, then your mouth starts to turn down. Right? So then if you look at somebody like that, when they’re older, you’d see okay, this person is really sad. They’ve suffered a lot, right? So with acupuncture, we’re now helping you. It’s also communicating to the client like you know what’s going on, you know, then it’s like releasing that emotional pain that you’ve been carrying that’s showing on your face. Right? So how can we release whatever is going on with you? So that you’re not only you can release it from your heart, so it’s not showing on your face. So it’s also working on that level, right? Like helping people realize what’s going on. Like, maybe you can journal about it, think about, like, how can you release it so that you’re not, your sadness isn’t so apparent on your face, because it’s something you healed. So things like that, like, you know, clients hold a lot of tension in their jaw TMJ, they’re really stressed about whatever is going on. Yes, it could be work, could be the partner. The elevens are probably the most popular ones, people always want to get work done on the elevens. But that’s also anger, frustration, stress, anger, something, you’re mad at somebody, something’s going on. So all of these things kind of give you awareness. Okay, you’re holding, this is the biggest wrinkles on your face. Why? What’s going on? Right to give you some kind of awareness, and then you can start to like, you know, a lot of times with my clients, I’m like, You should put an alarm on your phone that says Relax your forehead, every hour, Relax your forehead. And when you start realizing how much tension you hold in your forehead up. You’d be amazed,
Katie Wrigley 16:15
I just realized that. Right?
Carine Camara 16:19
All of us put so much tension on our forehead. And when you start to command your body to relax it, you’re like, Oh my God, I’ve been holding. I’ve been holding it. And it’s just and then you’re like realizing that you’re always your eyebrows are always up, right. And it could be my miniscule. It’s not like it’s not a big exaggeration, but it’s the energy that’s held there. Once you can start realizing, Oh, I don’t need to hold my energy so that I can relax and take a deep breath. And then you start to realize, okay, like, I’m creating a lot of these wrinkles, because I’m holding my face in a certain way. Do I want to hold my face that way? You know what I mean? Because these are all muscles, right? It’s all muscle. And what you have to do is just retrain your muscles, it’s like, if you want to have nice arms, you have to do, you know, exercise, right? You have to do whatever they’re called. I mean, I’m blanking on the names, hammer curls, biceps, or whatever, right? You know, all those things. But then it’s like, then you start to get the definition in your arms, right. So it’s the same thing with the face, except we’re doing the opposite. We’re relaxing the face because we’ve been putting so much tension and someone so much effect so much. Holding. And it’s just really about realizing how much you don’t pay attention to your face in that way. Like face Yoga is a fun thing to do. I’ve been playing with the different exercises you can do to your face, because it’s a muscle, you have to work the muscles.
Katie Wrigley 17:47
You know, and I love that you just brought up face yoga, too, because as you were saying that I was thinking of one of my friends that I know through cognitive movement, she’s done face yoga for years. And you guys aren’t able to see Carine and this is just audio, but she has this beautiful smooth skin. I don’t see any wrinkles on her whatsoever. And her skin looks nice and plump and hydrated. And you have the same look my friend did. She has these nice, just plumped skin. Not saying that it’s a plump face. But the skin being plump is a good thing. It’s a sign of how she had no wrinkles. Like she’s been doing this for years. And we’re watching her do it. We’re like, wow, we didn’t even know you could move your face in those ways. And she’s like, Yeah, I just do this for like 10-15 minutes a day. And I was giggling as you were talking about the elevens like I have one. And I spent a lot of time and my youth being really mad. And I had like a little bit of the little icon, the little saggy gels going down by the signs by the signs of signs, lines, the sides of my face, sides of my mouth. There we go. The word that was really depressing when I was younger. So I’ve earned those. But my face also looks different and younger. Since I’ve been doing what you talked about getting rid of those emotions, learning to love myself, shifting these and accepting myself and accepting the aging process. Like as I get closer to 50. I’m looking at where I was from 40. And I’m like, wow, I’ve come a really long way. Like I’m not, I’m not afraid to hit 50 I was afraid to hit 40 I was terrified to hit 30. But at 50 I’m just like, bring it on. I’m doing great. Like I’m excited to be like this is what 50 looks like. But I would never got there without doing this kind of work. So how much change do you typically see in a session with the client? Like is it noticeable? And one I know you said that it’s more of a slower progression, but is it noticeable in the first session as you’re progressing?
Carine Camara 19:48
Well, facial acupuncture really needs to be done at least for three months, once a week. And so within the first month you should definitely see a difference. Most clients feel a difference at least on the same day, and in terms of the relaxation of your face, I think you’re always amazed at how much tension there is in their face. And when the needles come out, they’re like, Oh my God, my whole body relaxed. It’s probably one of the most relaxing sessions I’ve experienced. And you know, because we do hold so much tension in our face. And then when all of that gets released, it’s like, it’s like a plug gets undone, and your whole body just smelt. It’s very, quite fascinating. Even when I experienced that I was kind of like, wow, this is way more relaxing than a regular acupuncture session. So I think it just depends on the person’s skin. Also, the younger you are, the more results you’ll see. Because you actually have more collagen and more blood in your face. Right older, the more age skin takes a little longer to see results. And ultimately, for me, what I care about the most is how you feel how the client feels right? The most of the time, the client feels happier, more joyful, they’re making better decisions for themselves, they’re sticking up for themselves more, you know, they’re communicating in ways that didn’t before, because now they have more confidence, more love more something in them has shifted in a way that they’re moving in the direction that they want to move in. And I think that’s the magic of being able to be like, no, you know, actually, I’m gonna do this for myself. Where they wouldn’t have done that is before. Right?
Katie Wrigley 21:19
I love that and that it is magical to start to embrace yourself and love yourself.
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Katie Wrigley 22:12
So you had said something really interesting in your profile that you teach people how to use love as a healing energy? So can you go into a little bit about how you do that and how you work with your clients or just in general? And I love that concept. And I have a hunch of what you’re going to say, but I’m curious to hear from you.
Carine Camara 22:34
Yeah, well, I use love as a healing energy for myself and for my clients. Because it’s an abundant energy that we are tapped into. It’s almost like if you think about if you have a family member that you love in your life, and they make you cookies, or they cook you food, it’s always gonna taste better than if you get it from a restaurant. So it’s that energy. And then we’re always so happy, right? Like, oh, my God, or my grandparents made me some cookies. It’s that nurturing feeling. And that feeling is healing for yourself and for others. So being able to tap into that energy for yourself can really take your health skyward, because you’re really pouring that love into yourself, the end, when you feel more loving and more happy and more whole, then that spreads to everyone around you. And so love is that way that you can accept yourself, you know, loving, it’s acceptance, it’s compassion, it’s empathy, it’s forgiveness, it’s all of those things that if you’re able to cultivate that for yourself, then you’re able to heal on a deeper level, and then you’re able to spread that love to the people around you. And also just taking responsibility for your life and being like, okay, like I am making the choice to love myself, do whatever I’m going through. And it just makes things a little softer, like we were mentioning, more expansive, and you’re able to just have a different perspective that can positively influence your life.
Katie Wrigley 24:02
I love that and you know, I think we don’t give perspective shifts nearly the credit that they deserve, like a perspective shift can be the difference between filing for divorce and moving closer to your partner. It can be the difference between saying yes, and having an amazing experience and or losing that experience completely. And it’s perspective is everything and it can make a massive difference just to be able to. It’s the difference between excruciating pain and a very low pain signal. Like there’s so much that goes into that and you’re right and they love is the one what they say that’s the one true universal emotion that there’s love and then there’s everything else and everything else is unreal. If you really started getting to the more what is the word esoteric, more spiritual realms like if that’s what you hear, there’s love and there’s fear. And fear isn’t real, there’s only love. And I’ve found that in my own work, that is, people start to get these emotions out of their body, it’s easier to love themselves. and that becomes a big part of their wellness. So what kind of shifts? Have you seen people made? Like, what kind of symptoms like you mentioned some of your own symptoms, you had digestive issues, acne? So what are some of the shifts that you’ve seen in your own practice with people whose first start coming to you? And then a few months later, what’s changed in their life? Like, what physical symptoms are they seeing? What mental symptoms are they experiencing? And then what changes?
Carine Camara 25:41
Well, it depends on some of my clients, for instance, like one client was with an abusive, alcoholic husband, and she didn’t really have the wherewithal to leave him. And I never encouraged her to leave her husband. That wasn’t right it was trying to do, I was just trying to help her get stronger, and her body so she was having. She’s pre diabetic and overweight, while she was not overweight, but she had extra pounds that she wanted to lose, she wanted to have a baby. So it was really like me just helping her get into her body. And we got her off the medication, she changed her diet, she started exercising, she started feeling better about herself. And over time, she left her husband, on her own accord, found an apartment, and like she just had this whole breakthrough was like, okay, I’m gonna live my life, well, and, and so that was really powerful. And that was me just helping her get in touch with herself. And then she made decisions that were, that was best for her. And then I had another client who I’ve been working with for a while, who is an older woman, I love her, she’s so sweet. And she’s just oh, she comes from a big family. And she’s always taking care of other people. And she’s never had the ability to just say, this is what I want for myself. And we’ve been working together for a little bit over a year, and she finally decided to do things that would make her happy. You know, so that was wonderful that, you know, she’s been able to make decisions that really put it put joy in her heart and to give herself that the opportunity to take give herself priority, what she has, I think mothers are notorious for that, right, they take care of the kids, they take care of the partners, they take care of everyone else, but they don’t take care of themselves. And then they get resentful, angry and all of those negative things. So she’s able to claim her claim or her power back. She has been going on retreats, I mean, it’s been wonderful to watch her just grow. So those are the clients. Those are the kinds of transformations I love, where I you know, people are just like, hey, I don’t have to do this, I don’t have to live this way, I have the physical strength. Now, my nervous system is strong enough that I could do whatever I want and know that I can take it because I think at least what I found even for myself, making transformational changes in your life can be challenging. If you feel like you can’t do it. Because I’m feeling I don’t know if I can do it. I don’t know if I can handle it. I mean, you know, you have all these negative thoughts that you can’t do it. But there’s something to be said about feeling physically good in your body. That gives you the confidence to be like no, I can do this. This is why kind of like lifting weights and exercising kind of gives you that feeling of like, oh, I can conquer anything. And so, you know, acupuncture isn’t a physical movement around putting needles in use physically, but it’s also touching your emotions, your mental space, it’s your spiritual energy body, and your nervous system, which I think is the most powerful part about acupuncture. Because if we’re if our nervous system is agitated, we don’t feel comfortable, we’re not breathing properly, we’re not digesting properly. All of these things affect our nervous system, it’s like it controls our whole body. And so when your nervous system has calmed down, you actually have the wherewithal to actually look at what’s happening. You can observe what’s happening in your life from a peaceful place, because you’re not agitated all the time. You’re not in fight or flight. You’re like, oh, wait, I mean, I can stop and meditate, I can stop and I can breathe because I’m not running from the tiger all the time. And so that’s the biggest gift I think acupuncture provides is really that calmness, and it’s hard to get there if you’re not actively trying to calm your nervous system down. And a lot of people think that they’re calm when they’re not because we live in this go go go land. You got to just you gotta you know that it’s like this. This country is built on this energy of just go go, go go go. And women and men at a certain age you just can’t anymore. You just can’t. And I think you know, you get older and you realize you just don’t have that kind of energy and you have a limited amount of energy. It’s just how I want to spend my energy, not really. And so when you’re young, you can bypass your alert systems to push yourself, and then you burn out. Yeah, yeah. So that’s a big part of why I think acupuncture and other modalities that are similar, are really important to help people slow down, breathe, wait, what’s happening, and then you can move forward in a more calm, calm way. And you can actually make decisions that are best for you.
Katie Wrigley 30:37
Yeah, there’s this, there’s this thinking that the the beauty, the beauty and the tragedy of your 20s Is that your body is so resilient, that you’re likely to beat the crap out of it. And it’s not necessarily the best idea, but at least we have a pretty resume, we’re not starfish, we’re not gonna reach out to grow limbs or organs or anything. But we do have a certain amount of resilience, but it starts to run down. But part of it as you were talking, you actually made me start to think about resilience itself and how we create resilience. And it almost started to come up as I don’t know if an analogy is the right term. But a parallel, like when you think about the ways you build, builds mental resilience, you do it by facing hard things, doing hard things, surviving them as you grow stronger. And so it’s usually something that has some pain in it. And I was thinking that, that sounds almost like the equivalent of what you’re doing on the physical body and the face. So as you’re creating these mini traumas, with the needles, the body isn’t coming forward to protect it, and it winds up relaxing the body, helping to produce the things in the skin that are going to make the skin glow, they’re going to make it look good, but then it’s also penetrating down into the emotional level. It sounds like it’s a physical way to build resilience into the nervous system and into the mental state. By going in and in a much easier way I may add than the some of the ways that are out there to rebuild resilience, like I’d much rather have someone stick a bunch of needles in my face once a week for three months, to go through some of the stuff I’ve done to get to the strength that you’re offering a much easier way to do that. And your story of your client who found on her own to leave her husband like that’s the beauty and the power of coaching like a coach is never gonna, you may suggest but or it but and even same thing like if I hear an unhealthy dynamic, I’m not I’m not touching that. I’m going to be letting them decide what is the best decision for them. Because I’m not in that dynamic. I don’t know what’s good or bad about it for them. I don’t know what they get out of it, they may tell me what they get out of it. But that’s not up to me to decide. And I love that you let that person’s neurology let their physical body reconstruct the reality that worked for them. And sounds like she’s doing so much better than she was when she first came in to see you.
Carine Camara 33:05
Yeah, it’s, um, that’s the thing, I feel like healing is about really in you making that decision to shift because nobody can really heal you, I could bring it, you know, so for me, it’s like opening the gateways within you so that you can be like, oh, wait, oh, I don’t need to do this, I can do this, like guiding people by shining the light on different different options that they can choose and, and giving them the positive reinforcement that they can do whatever they want. And if they choose to do that, then great. They have the ability to do it. And, also, I think for me, the facial acupuncture part is really like helping people see their inner beauty because I think so many of us don’t feel beautiful, even the ones that are very beautiful. Even, you know, it’s crazy when I hear models say that they don’t think they’re beautiful. I’m flabbergasted. I’m like, What do you mean, you’re like a model. But then it goes to show you that everybody has insecurities, even the most quote unquote, beautiful people in the world. And that’s and as we get older, if we have insecurities about something, it just becomes bigger and bigger, right? Because now we’re like, oh, now I’m old. And I have this, you know, and, and I feel like when people feel beautiful, their confidence just always shoots up. Oh, wait, because I feel good. I feel good. So I can do anything. I can make any decisions because I feel good. I feel beautiful. I feel like I can make stuff happen. And that’s also part of it. Like you feeling good about yourself. Then you can face hard decisions. You can face okay, I can leave you husband because I’m fabulous. And I can live my own life and I could find somebody else, right? Yeah, where if you feel kind of dragged and you don’t feel good about yourself, you’re like, well, maybe you’re the best I’m gonna do I’m gonna have this. Um, I guess I should stay, right? Because you don’t feel like you can find somebody else. And so that’s really what it is for me is like infusing this. You’re beautiful. You’re amazing. You can do whatever you want at any age. Because that’s also things that were taught, right? Oh, you can go back to school, you’re 45 years old, you should just do whatever you were doing like. But a lot of times, we don’t feel confident. We don’t feel confident because we don’t like we don’t like our wardrobe. We think we’re fat, or we think we’re too skinny or our hair is, you know, graying, there’s so many things that people are like, well, I can’t do this because X, Y and Z. You know, it’s wild. It’s still the wild that was like that TV show that was called younger. Have you seen that show or that show?
Katie Wrigley 35:45
I don’t think so. No, that’s a new one.
Carine Camara 35:47
I never watched too many episodes. But I thought it was kind of interesting. This woman was in her 40s. I think she was actually my age, like 42/43. And she got the book, she gets divorced. And she wanted to go into publishing, but no one would hire her because she was in her 40s. So she changed her whole outfit. So she can look like she was in her 20s. And she used to so she presented herself as if she was like a 25 year old to get a job. And she actually got the job. But it was weird because she looked like she was in her 20s. But She acted like she was in her 40s. You know what I mean? She acted like a mature person. And it was so interesting, because I’m like, yeah, we could look young, but we have the mental capacity of an older person. But it was sad to me that she would have to do that to get a job. Do you know what I mean? The fact that older people are not validated, they’re not valued enough, that you have to feel like you have to act younger, which is, you know, it was a great show in that context. But it also made me sad, because I’m like, just because you’re in your 40s, you should have the opportunity to change your life and not feel like you can’t because of your age. And I’m hoping that society shifts and starts to realize that just because you’re old, doesn’t mean you’re not worth anything. And that’s part of the premise of me starting this movement, because I’m like, no, I don’t think that’s fair. Women that are older, and men have so much value to offer any company. And they should be hired based on that premise, not just because they’re not young. So there’s so much to unpack about how society views older women and men. And, and most and it starts with how we feel about ourselves. And that’s like, where am I working right? Helping people individually change how they feel about themselves. So that they can walk into the world feeling different, and making different decisions.
Katie Wrigley 37:25
That’s, that’s beautiful. And everything you said, there I’ve seen as it’s true in my life, too, when you are starting to take care of yourself and just reflects anywhere and when you’re feeling good, you know, if you’ve been on a diet, and then you see the scales and scales finally responding, you feel extra sexy, extra confident that day, and it goes into everywhere, you know, in it, and I was thinking of this other message that women hear and some men too, but this one’s really kind of a bias against women. And I’ve heard it repeatedly over the years that, you know, men get better looking as they get older, but women get worse looking. It’s like, who even the world wanted. It’s right.
Carine Camara 38:07
It’s annoying. Men are distinguished when they get older, like wine and women. You guys are like, Yeah, and I’m just like
Katie Wrigley 38:14
They get salt and pepper hair. We dye our hair, you know, and I was actually letting my gray out for a while. And then I realized I’m like, I’m not really ready to see that yet. Because to me, it made me look the same. But to me, it just made my energy look so much older. And so I’m like, I’m going to cover the gray again for a little while because that feels better for me. Yeah, like I feel like I don’t feel like I’m my age. I actually feel younger than I did when I turned 40. Like I feel like I’m 10 years younger than I actually am now because I’ve been taking such good care of myself for several years. And so it’s going backwards. like it feels like Benjamin Button. Like I’m aging in reverse, like you said, but I’m not but I feel that way. And so for me, one of the things I do is and move of self love is I dye my hair because now my reflection looks closer to the age I feel my real age. Yeah. And so it’s a mental boost for myself. It’s like I look at that and I’m like, oh, I kind of like how I look today. Then when it is gray I’m like, hey yeah, yeah,
Carine Camara 39:24
I mean, there’s some women that feel empowered by their grays when it’s a great
Katie Wrigley 39:28
Yeah. And I and you can tell when they’re talking and like and those women that’s why I wanted to try it because I knew several people in the pandemic that had this gorgeous like long black hair, and they started to let their their gray out and one of my friends has this beautiful, super thick gray streak that just comes right out of her toe. Oh my gosh, she looks younger, letting her hair out. It’s absolutely gorgeous. And so I wanted to try it. I’m like I’m not there yet and mad kudos to them, it just makes me respect that even more it is trying something different and embracing that look and seeing them light up from the inside with that internal radiance, because they love what they see so much. And being authentically them is empowering. And it’s beautiful to see.
Carine Camara 40:18
I think that also the conversation around men feeling distinguished when they get older. You know, it’s a patriarchal stereotype. However, men kind of own that. They’re like, okay, I’m old, whatever, and they just own their aging process. You know, what I mean is that most men nowadays are actually shifting more men to doing cosmetic stuff. But in general, men are just like, okay, whatever. And I feel like women have always put more pressure on ourselves to look beautiful, because we’ve always felt like, historically, women have only been valued as a spouse, you know, pretty much you have to find a husband, and we’ve only had this level of freedom for the last 40 years. So it’s still biologically ingrained in us that we have to look good, so we can have a mate. And now that and things are changing, but our bodies are still needing to catch up with that. And so I think it’s okay for women to go through this, whatever they need to go through. But ultimately, it’s about you accepting you. You know what I mean? Like you accepting your beauty, your age, whatever. And I think as a movement, the more women accept and love themselves, through their aging process, eventually society will start to match what women are doing. I mean, even look at the plus size movement, right? It was the people who made that happen, right? Yeah, we’re seeing plus sizes. You know what I mean? Like, I think we as a people, as women, as a community, eventually it will shift. You don’t have to lose your job on TV, just because you hit a certain age. Like so many broadcast journalists, they hit a certain age, they just retire and they’re still young, but they’re not young looking. But the men are old and crusty. And they’re still on TV, you know what I mean? So it’s kind of like that I think is going to shift within the next year. I’m praying that that’s gonna shift because I think more women that are hitting their midlife are realizing, hey, I still look good. I’m still fabulous. I’m so smart. I don’t need to quit my job just because I look a certain way. And, yeah, cuz it was this whole story about this woman, because of the pandemic, her grades were coming out. I think she was in Europe, one of these TV shows, one of the TV channels, and they had to let her go, because she was graying, and it was this whole thing. Like, and I was just like, this is gonna change. And I think within the next few years, it’s going to change kind of like the whole me too movement, right? Because now predators do one thing, and they’re out or before the actual harassment was a norm in jobs, right. Like when I was younger men, male bosses would say things to me that I was always like is that okay, now, they would never say that. Right. Oh, yeah. So I yeah, I think it’s shifting. I think it’s shifting.
Katie Wrigley 42:56
It is, and it’ll take time, you know, and you’d said something earlier about, you know, if you’re walking around with anger, you’re reflecting that out into the world. So the same thing, when you’re feeling good about aging, when you know that you look red, when you’re standing in the mirror, and you’re 65 years old, and you’re like, wow, I’m beautiful. That energy is going out into the world. So it’s not like only the anger, only the grief, only the anxieties getting shared these beautiful encompassing, like empowering emotions, those are equally as contagious, we just, it’s easier to pay attention to the negative ones, because that’s what our neurology is gearing us to do. Like, if you’re in a state of love and joy, your nervous system doesn’t have anything to do to watch for danger, you’re safe. Not as interested in that. But it doesn’t mean that they aren’t as contagious. You know, like, if you think about a child laughing you can be in a really bad mood and you hear a kid cracking up, your mood gonna lift, that kid keeps laughing long enough, you’re gonna be like, okay, that’s really cute. And you’re gonna find your face starting to smile, unless the kid has just pissed you off. And that’s what’s cracking him up, then that may be a different experience. But for the most part, it’s going to be contagious. And so that beautiful energy is there as more women are embracing, growing old and realizing that they’re doing it more gracefully, and that they don’t have to put neurotoxins in their skin, they don’t have to get implants so they don’t have to have things lifted and sucked and tucked and smoothed. And all these torture forms that people are doing to feel good about themselves. They don’t need to, they’re beautiful as they are and it’s okay to get older. I mean, the alternative is you’re not here. Like I would much rather be growing older than nourishing the earth with my body. Like much rather than doing this.
Carine Camara 44:47
And also hopefully with this whole plastic surgery, I don’t know if the whole cosmetic plastic surgery industry is ever going to get smaller. I pray that it does but it may never, and I think it’s really I think the trends of beauty beauty trends, is what I’m hoping that it will just stop. Because the beauty trends are almost always about women. I don’t really see beauty trends for men, it’s like, this year, it’s like having a small waist, bbls are really popular. And then the next 20 years will be something else big, you know, like, in the 90s, everyone got breast implants, and it was this big movement. And I’m just like, when are we just gonna say, hey, your body is good the way it is. Right? And there are natural ways of dealing with this. And so that’s, but I don’t know if that’s ever going to shift because this is the way society is moving towards. So I’m like, let me help the women that want to be helped. And we can start this movement of like, we’re okay with our bodies, the way that God was, God gave us, you know, we got these bodies, by the Divine life creator, whoever, and we’re going to be okay with it. And this is how we’re going to move in the world, regardless of what’s going on, and not indulge in all these surgical things. Which, you know, it breaks my heart when I hear these stories about girls that are getting BBLs and dying. And I’m like, wow, all this for a big butt really? But then at the same time, it makes me feel like there’s not enough love in the world, because they feel so unloved. They feel like if I don’t do this, I’m not gonna get love and attention. So I have to do this thing so I can get the love and whatever. That’s the part that makes me the most sad. Yeah, you people are doing all these extreme things. So ultimately, they can feel they can feel attractive, and they can attract the love that they are seeking. And I feel like if they could heal that part, then they may not need to get the surgery, right, if they can find a way to get the love that they want without doing the surgery. That’s the part I would wish I could heal for all these women or all these men that are doing these extreme things. I’m like, if we can figure out how you can feel loved, then maybe you don’t need to do this risky surgery. And that’s the part that breaks my heart, especially when they’re young. And yeah, you’re 20 you don’t really know, your body’s going to change. And that’s one of the things that when I was in my 20s, I’m an older woman, I thought she was old, she was my age, she was 40. She was like, I was 25. And I was 26. And I was complaining about my body because in your 20s all you do is complain about your body not knowing that your body is great, what’s common, right? Right, we all complain like oh my god, I’m so fat. And she was just like, you know, you should really enjoy your body, you know, because you’re, you’re young and your body is never going to be the same. As you get older things shift and change, and you should appreciate your body at every season of its change. And at the time, I kind of threw her comment aside, like, whatever, you’re an old lady. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve held on to that piece of advice because she was correct, like our bodies as it changes and you know, your breasts change, your stomach changes, your body changes, like everything changes. And if you make these decisions, when you’re young, you’re not you’re not, you don’t really know what’s going to happen as you get older. Like I know this girl, when I was in acupuncture school, she got her breasts done, she got breast implants when she was like 21 or something. And she went from like a D cup to a D cup or whatever. And when she got older, she gained some weight as many women do. And she actually got the boobs that she wanted to have. But now they’re extra big because she had the implants. And so she got the implants removed, and one of them deflated or something which is wild. They just want one of her breasts deflated. And she actually got them removed. And now the size that she originally wanted them to be, had she not done the implant, she would have gotten the boobs that she wanted to get. It doesn’t happen for everyone. But you know, right, you gain weight and you get bigger boobs. In any case, for her, it was like, oh, I didn’t even need the surgery. Had I waited, I would have gotten the bigger boobs anyway. So you know, things like that. I was just like, I wish people understood that your body changes and you don’t need to make these surgical decisions. You can wait and see how you can do it naturally. So anyway, yeah, I’ll get off my soapbox.
Katie Wrigley 49:03
Now, completely on that.
Carine Camara 49:06
It makes me so sad, and just really does because I’m just like, that’s, it’s, I don’t know, I think breast implants are great if you had cancer and you had to get a mastectomy. And you know, that makes more sense to me. But
Katie Wrigley 49:21
But yeah, but yeah, unfortunately, a lot of times they get it to have access to something they don’t already have access to and the boobs are the gateway to this access. It’s healing whatever is wrong inside that’s going to give them whatever it is they’re looking for. So we have a couple minutes left and I wanted to just ask him two questions. One, what are the different ways that you work with clients? And then I want to make sure that they know where to find you. But I noticed you do some coaching and you also do acupuncture. So what are all the different ways that people can work with you currently?
Carine Camara 49:57
Yeah, so if you live in the Bay Area, San Francisco Bay area, I have a clinic in Lafayette, California. So I can give you facial acupuncture, or traditional acupuncture if you’re in the area and you’re looking for a healer. And then if you’re not in the area, and you’re looking to talk to somebody about lifestyle changes, I do coaching, and it’s really about helping women gracefully age. So we’ll be talking about your, like things that you can do in terms of diet changes, lifestyle changes, supplements, exercise, we can even go into style, hairstyles, like how can you feel more beautiful? And? And what are the steps that you can take to age gracefully? And also looking at your health? Are you going through hormonal changes? Are you suffering from a health crisis that you could need, that you need support around? So pretty much looking at your whole holistic life and figuring out okay, like, what’s missing here? What’s going on? Are you suffering from a lack of forgiveness? Are you holding on to all these pains? Like what’s going on and what’s blocking you from living your best life? So those are the two options, and you can go on my website carrinna.com And you can go on my website, you can follow me on Instagram, you can reach out email me, text me, reach out if you have any questions.
Katie Wrigley 51:18
Thank you so much. And you mentioned that you had a freebie out there as well. So what was that freebie that you have? And what would be the call to action that you would hope that someone would take after listening to this episode today?
Carine Camara 51:30
Yeah, they can go on my website. And they can download nine simple ways that they can gracefully age. And it gives you three, nine different ideas on how you can shift your perspective on Aging Gracefully. Three of them will include beauty, three of them are spiritual, and three of them are style based. And it’s really a holistic view on how you can start to think about your life and how you can move in a space that makes you feel good around aging, and also how you can bring more beauty and joy into your life. So if you can download that freebie, and you can in that way, you can stay connected on my newsletters that I send out weekly. I’m also starting a podcast at Carina podcast that’s going to be launching in February, which we’ll all be about gracefully aging and talking about different ways in which we can enjoy our lives as we move through the various seasons.
Katie Wrigley 52:16
Lovely, I love all that, oh, make sure all of those links are in the show notes so that people can connect to you. And even though we’re recording this in January, I’ll make sure I have a link to your new podcast so that they can listen to that as well. Thank you so much for joining me today and for sharing your message. It’s absolutely beautiful. And I really hope a lot of men and women listening are hearing what Karina is saying. And you can start to look in the mirror with love and see all the beauty that you are made with in this world. Thank you so much for you. And thank you my cherished listener for joining me again this week. Come back next week, we are going to be talking to someone named Yogi Aaron and he is going to tell you how stretching may actually be killing you. Okay, it’s not killing you. But it’s not as good for you as you may think. And there’s a different way to do it. So come back and join me next week and you will hear all about that. Until then. Please remember that chronic does not have to mean permanent.
Katie Wrigley 53:21
We are a brand new podcast. We appreciate every review we get, especially the five stars. Please help us share this podcast and spread the word that you can accept the diagnosis without accepting the prognosis. You can do this by subscribing and leaving your own five star review to let us know what you like and what you want to hear more of. Thank you so much for listening today. And as always remember that chronic doesn’t have to mean permanent.