Episode 61: How to Train Your Brain


In this episode, you will learn:

  • How the way you are spoken to, both by medical professionals as well as your own self talk, will impact your mind and body
  • The way you think, feel and act will impact your outcome
  • What happens in the nervous system when you are gaslighted by medical professionals
  • How long anger will depress your immune system (here’s a hint: exponentially longer than the time you spend being angry!)

Episode 61: How to Train Your Brain

Katie Wrigley (KW) 0:05
Welcome back to The Pain Changer podcast. This is episode 61. And I’m your host Katie Wrigley. Joining me today is Dr. Kim Brown. Dr. Kim knows what it takes to get out of your own way and become unstoppable. After releasing the fears around being seen and heard, Kim has had a highly successful TEDx Talk impacting over 128,000 people globally in its first 12 months. Kim empowers people utilizing NLP, which is Neuro Linguistic Programming, coaching, timeline therapy and hypnosis to change their belief systems, habits, behaviors and values. So they can choose the future of their desires, no longer living by the pre programmed ideal that was set by someone else. And this includes chronic pain. Kim is passionate about working one to one with clients or via her NLP certification trainings. So the knowledge is passed on to create physical, emotional and financial freedom. Not only do clients learn how to create solid and tangible, outstanding goals, but also how to change the nervous system in order to evolve into that new reality permanently. Welcome to The Pain Changer podcast Kim, I’m so glad to have you join me again.

Kim Brown (KB) 1:15
Thank you so much, Katie. It’s good to be here.

KW 1:18
So for those of you that may not have caught my recent summit, the chronic pain exposé, Dr. Kim Brown was one of the speakers there, and she shared her amazing wisdom with us. So I’d love if you just start out and get a little background Kim about how you got into this work.

KB 1:35
Well, I guess, ultimately, it’s just developed from starting off, being a personal trainer, moving more into allied health care. And then just knowing that there was a gap, knowing that we weren’t quite ticking all the boxes, not really helping enough, holistically. And that frustrated me that I could do so much and help so much, but couldn’t quite tick all the boxes for people. And whilst I fully appreciate, it’s not my role to tick every box for every person, I knew there was that gap. And I wanted to help fill that gap.

KW 2:14
So what did you notice was falling into that gap specifically, that really got you focused in that area?

KB 2:25
It seemed that people were either really looked after physically, from their body point, point of view, or really looked after mentally, emotionally or psychologically, but not both. And I found that there was a significant gap with the mind body connection and how people humans relate to themselves and to their pain and to their bodies. And how to look after all of that holistically.

KW 2:55
Yeah, yeah, and I love that you zeroed in on that, because it’s, I’ve noticed the same gap. That’s why I do what I do. So you mentioned sorry, go ahead.

Um, so I noticed in here that you mentioned that you can permanently change the nervous system. And I know that NLP Neuro Linguistic Programming is a big part of what you do. So how many people have you worked with the who have been struggling with chronic pain and what have you been able to see is one of the biggest factors contributed into their pain, that you’re able to help shift.

KB 3:33
There’s a few things there over the over the years, there’s been 1000s of people that I’ve worked with either through groups or one on one. And it still blows my mind as to how quickly and I’ll use the word easily only because once people allow themselves to go through the process, it’s actually quite a very easy process.

The thing is, the way we talk to ourselves and the way we are spoken to, especially by authority or professionals will create something change, often disempowerment because as soon as, as soon as there’s words involved, and especially the way words are utilized, this will either make or break people’s relationship with themselves with their own body with their outcomes.

Now, words are so powerful, and if you like, for instance, go to a health professional, and they treat you like you’re broken
or damaged goods. That’s ultimately how the outcome is likely to become where your mind kicks up all of those unconscious ideas that oh my god, this person thinks I’m broken or unfixable, or, oh my god, I’m damaged goods. And the mind picks up on that and believes it to be true and runs with it.

KW 4:58

KB 4:59
If you went to a health care practitioner and they said, You know what, this is just a temporary issue. We’re going to work through some things to make some changes but gives you hope and light at the end of the tunnel, the way you perceive your outcomes to be is going to significantly change and shift your overall outcome because you’re going to have a positive idea that you’re not broken, this is just a glitch, and that you’ve got a chance to get out of it.

What I love working with is helping people recognize that the way they think, and therefore the way they feel, and therefore the way they act and behave all has influence on their outcomes, whether it be physically, emotionally, financially, at the end of the day, the way you think and feel dictates the outcome. So your words either empower you, or disempower you. So if you think you’re broken, broken, you’ll probably stay that way. Whereas if you think you’ve got the opportunity to change and to upgrade, and evolve, then that can happen too.

Because like Henry Ford said, whether you think you can or you think you can’t you get to be right.

KW 6:06

KB 6:07
And I love that saying, because it’s so true, you get to choose which way it goes.

KW 6:22
Yeah, I love that. It’s, it’s your choice. And so often, when someone goes into a doctor, because they’ve had some some disease or some pain that’s been plaguing them. Oftentimes, they’re gaslighted. So they wind up, they’re actually trying to convince and I, this happened to me, too. I was convincing my medical team that something was wrong with me. So what am I actually doing, and what is someone in that position who’s trying to get the help they need. So that’s the first level. And then I’m going to circle back to that after you answer that, but what is actually happening in the brain and in the neurology, when you’re trying to get someone to give you the help, and they don’t believe you that you have a problem.

KB 7:05
There’s a massive shift in the neurology right then and there. When you go in asking for help, there’s a high chance it’s taking you some time to be able to even get the courage to ask for help. And then if it’s shot down, dismissed, or you’re made to feel like you’re a fool, or you’re crazy, or any of those other things, so much is happening in the nervous system. For most people, it’s reinforcing childhood traumas or childhood events where they may have been dismissed, cut off, not believed, or any of those sorts of things. So it’s literally re-triggering the nervous system from what may have happened 20, 30, 40, 50 years ago, and bringing it into the now strengthening it into the now. And when you’re reliving or re-feeling the past, you’re embedding, you’re strengthening it, you’re giving it more substance.

Now, people who are very used to having to either repeat their stories, or they even repeated in their own head over and over and over and over again. They literally recreate and reinvent the neural pathways that have practiced that thought or that behavior or that outcome. So they’re literally reinventing and practicing the neurology the new neural pathways that created that problem in the first place. So then the strengthening

KW 8:35
Uff that’s dangerous, especially when you have someone who’s already in a world of hurt, who may not have a whole lot of support. Yeah, that’s the words are so important, you know, and the other piece of that that I wanted, so that’s the first layer, right? So they’re starting to re up there, they’re making it bigger in their minds. And it’s already real. So Kim’s not saying it’s not real. And that is something that it is absolutely real. And by doubling down and trying to convince someone, you have a problem in order to get the help that you need, it’s actually going to exacerbate the condition, whatever that may be. And then when you look at the traditional medical model as a whole, and I know it’s pretty similar in Australia, where are you in Australia or New Zealand?

KB 9:16

KW 9:17
Okay, that’s what I thought I just want to make sure I had the right country there. But Australia and the United States have have similar traditional structures with with medical system, and it’s it’s not healthcare, it’s sick care, you’re going to look for something wrong. And so you’re going to find that and part of my understanding, and I’d love to hear you expand on this. My understanding of neurology, whatever you’re telling your brain to look for, it’s going to go find more of. So if we celebrate wins, we’re going to go look for more wins. And if we find reasons to be happy, we’re going to find more reasons to be happy. And the flip side is when we’re looking for illness and we’re looking for pain, what are we going to find more of so I’d just love to hear what you think about that and expand on part of the issue of just how the health I can’t even call it healthcare system, but I don’t have other words, the sick care system, I guess that we have in effect for both of our countries and and other countries too.

KB 10:10
And you’ve absolutely nailed the concepts there. When you look for whatever it is, you will find more of it simple as that. There’s a part of our brain called the reticular activating system, the RAS, its job is to literally look for whatever you’re telling it to look for. So let me give you an analogy. If you if you suddenly made the decision, I’m going to go buy a new car, I’m so interested in going and buying a red Land Rover. I guarantee the very next day red Land Rovers up all over the place, because you’ve asked your brain to look for it and go, Oh, I didn’t realize there was an there’s another one. Well, there’s another one. There’s another one. And your brain is just almost startled by the fact Wow, there’s a lot of random Rover’s I hadn’t considered how many there are?

KW 10:58

KB 10:59
It’s not that they weren’t there yesterday, it’s just you weren’t paying attention to them. And now that you’ve brought it to the attention of your RAS, your reticular activating system, they become obvious to you. The same applies to disease, pain, or anything along the sick model. Because you’ve got it right there, it is definitely the disease model, we look for disease.

KW 11:23

KB 11:24
And when we go to mainstream doctors, most of the time asking for help, you will be given or offered a chance of symptom relief, not disease relief, not getting rid of the actual problem.

And what that does is solve one little problem with another problem. And then solve another problem with another problem. Because any medicines or symptom relief you may be given, generally speaking, comes with a side effect, or a sidestep outcome. We’re never really addressing the real issue we’re never addressing the root cause, what is the reason? The the root cause of what caused your problem in the first place?

So when we look at the the disease model, yeah, no surprise, we’re looking for more disease. And this is, and this is another thing that happens, you know, just in regular testing, I want you to come back for your annual because we’re going to look to see what’s wrong with you.

So here, they are setting up a whole range of blood tests and a whole range of physical checks and whatever else looking for disease. Now, whilst I’m not against monitoring and checking, and all of those things, when you actively go and seek out, potential disease, your brain thinks about disease. And low and behold, what does it start creating?

KW 12:44

KB 12:48
Disease. Right? When you start looking for something, you get to find it, your RAS is pretty cool at finding stuff. So when you go out searching for disease, you’ll find it. And it could be the smallest thing often it’s a marker on a blood test, oh, you’re in the eye range for a marker.

Now, these are predetermined levels or goalposts, so to speak, that could be done on averages. And the averages are rarely set to what could be average for you personally, it’s set to a demographics average. And then your brain goes, Oh, my goodness, I’m in a high level of this marker. And your brain goes, What if it’s this? What if it’s this? What if this, what if it’s this?

The fact that you’re even starting to play that game in your head means your nervous system, your neurology is actually starting to create whatever this is, which means when you go looking for it again, guess what? You’re probably going to find it. Because whatever you create in the mind and the brain, you get to create in the nervous system by thinking and feeling those thoughts. And this is where stress, anxiety and all those other things come into play. Because for every moment that you are either in stress or anxiety or fearful, because fear is a huge one.

KW 14:19
Oh yeah.

KB 14:20
Your immune system is depressed. The research shows that it’s something like four minutes of anger equals six hours of depressed immune system.

KW 14:34
Oh, wow. Wow.

KB 14:36
So you could have been going to any situation in your life, we’ll use the medical model. You just go on into your healthcare practitioners office, sat around for an hour longer than your appointment. You might be a little frustrated or angry about that

KW 14:53

KB 14:54
Then to move into a room where you are potentially, not ignored, but potentially snubbed off or not believed or not heard or not, there’s no compassion. If you’re just you’re just a number in a long queue of numbers, and you leave there angry or frustrated. How much more have you just suppressed your immune system?

KW 15:22
So much

KB 15:23
In that moment alone, let alone the following moments where you are then taking that frustration and anger home with you. And while you’re waiting for the test to tell you whether you have limits or outside those limits, all those markers are not quite normal. How much more emotionally, you going through as you wait for the results to be told, or by the way, one of your markers is higher or lower than the average. And we’re going to start looking for more disease.

So you can understand how during this entire process of just an annual checkup, can create such neurological pathways that literally create disease, let alone emphasize or uplevel, anything that was already happening in your system. So your system’s now heightened towards dis ease.

KW 16:24
Wow, that’s you said so much. That’s powerful there is I was laughing at the yearly as the example because I actually, I pushed mine off by four months, because I’m like, oh, there’s nothing wrong with me, like and let me know how I’m doing on this. Because I want to use this as an example of a way that someone else can go in because it is a good day to have someone open up the hood and take a look and make sure everything is going okay, we want to do that. But we don’t want to go in looking for disease. And so one of the mindset set shifts I do is like, I can’t wait to see how healthy my blood work is this year

KB 16:58
Much better.

KW 16:57
So that’s a shift that someone can make so that they’re not getting into that disease kind of frame of mind. And it’s an I’ve like I’m on a goal to see how healthy I can get.

KB 17:05
Right. And already, can you feel the difference in your body? Because you’re looking for health?

KW 17:09
Yeah. Yeah.

KB 17:10
Rather than looking for disease. Already, your nervous system feels better. And it’s more comfortable in your body? Because you’re looking for how healthy it is. I’m certainly not suggesting we don’t get checkups. Of course we do.

KW 17:25

KB 17:26
But let’s look for health. Let’s be reminded of how well we’re doing with our physical body. Those tests will bring up anything they need to bring up anyway to bring your attention to an area that may need some assistance. But why go looking for disease when we can look for health?

KW 17:46

KB 17:47
Let’s look for health and be reminded, well done. Katie, you’ve looked after your body for another year, keep going? Because what you’re doing is working.

KW 17:58
Yeah. And rarely does a doctor telling you that. Like my doctor would be like, Oh, everything’s normal, you’re fine. Like they don’t congratulate you for being healthy. Like it’s such a non thing. If there’s nothing wrong with you, they don’t have to pay attention to you’re not going to be a return customer.

KB 18:11

KW 18:12
So they’re on to the next person who’s riddled with disease who’s who’s buying into this system that is stacked against us?

KB 18:21
Very much. So if you’re if you’re disease free or in the healthy ranges, you’re not in the middle.

KW 18:27
No, nope. That’s a big shift. And I just want to validate what you’re saying there was when I was trying to convince medical teams, I was diagnosed with shit left and right. And when I stopped looking, and this chiropractor that I worked with in Colorado was he gave me some of the best advice ever. He’s like, okay, get the diagnoses, and then let it go. And focus on your health.

And it took a while after that, because I still had a lot of pain at that point in my life. So it took a while. But as I’ve continued down this path, as I’ve continued changing neural pathways, as I’ve continued to do this work, watch my words, watch all the other things and start to focus on health instead of what’s wrong. It’s easier and easier, like and I and so what that looks like with health insurance, we’re in 2023 right now, from 2015 through 2019. I maxed out my out of pocket health insurance, I don’t even come close to hitting my deductible anymore. Like and the only reason that it even edges up at all is because I haven’t yet figured out yet. figured out how to deactivate the hemochromatosis gene and so they take blood every three months and then usually a phlebotomy after that. And once I figure out how to deactivate that gene, then that’s even going to go away. That’s just that’s the one riddle I haven’t been able to stop just yet.

KB 20:05
Yeah. And you know what? them taking blood every three months?
That there doesn’t need to be emotional attachment to that?

KW 20:15
No, there isn’t

KB 20:16
They do that. You feel better your markers stay within their normal limits. No need to give more emotional or, you know, word-based attachment to that other than, and I love the way you said yet because that bought a big smile on my face to go. Yeah, you haven’t figured that out yet. The fact that you’re not focusing on it and honing in on it and putting all your nervous system onto that brilliant.

KW 20:39
Thank you.

KB 20:40
Because you’re just allowing the process to happen of Yep, they need to take blood every three months. And that keeps that level that marker normal. Great. There’s a solution without emotionally attaching to the problem.

KW 20:58

KB 20:59
And that’s when we get to heal our bodies is when we stop emotionally attaching to the problem. I’ve worked with a couple of beautiful clients that were diagnosed with MS multiple sclerosis, because again, on their on their fairly generic testing, certain markers came up. And young women who are struggling with certain things will be quickly diagnosed with MS. Now, you’ve only got to look up Ms to see Firstly, there’s multiple versions of it.

KW 21:31

KB 21:32
And it’s lifelong and debilitating, and increasingly bad, depending on where you look, but that’s generally the sentiments. And I’ve worked with two different women who were in their mid 20s, where they were diagnosed with MS and therefore put on the appropriate pharmaceuticals to be able to try and manage the symptoms of their MS. And I asked a simple question to both of them individually. They didn’t know each other. They were separate people.

Have you actually had conclusive evidence testing that you have MS, as opposed to just a symptom based diagnosis? And neither of them could answer yes to that. So the MRI and have that have the doctors shown you the plaques on your brain? Neither of them could say yes to that.

KW 22:22

KB 22:23
So by other testing alone, blood blood testing and the like a doctor has given them the crippling title of having Ms. Based on a bunch of symptom reports, and a bunch of testing blood tests based. Neither of these two women had had the MRI to show any plaques on their brain.

KW 22:47

KB 22:48
And I said to both of them, I said until you have that evidence that your brain has plaques. Be careful what you accept. Now they reported back to me a couple of months later that they were ms free. Because they accepted that they’d never had MS in the first place. They had symptoms that could match Ms. But they hadn’t had the proof from a brain point of view that they had Ms. They had MS symptoms.

KW 23:37

KB 23:39
Yeah, you can jump to Google all that you like when it comes to MS symptoms. I guarantee all of us have some of them at some point.

KW 23:45
Oh, yeah

KB 23:46

KW 23:47
Oh, yeah

KB 23:48
You get tired enough within your body or you run a summit. And the last, you know, the few days after the summit, there’s a high chance you’re not high functioning at that point in time.

KW 23:55
No, not at all

KB 23:57
I remember after my, you know, fifty-year exams, I couldn’t put a sentence together. So if you tested me for anything during that timeframe, while I was recovering from a significant emotional stage in my life, you could have found a million diseases in my body.

KW 24:15
Oh, yeah,

KB 24:17
From symptom. But that doesn’t mean it’s proof or evidence that the disease exists. So these two particular souls, I just coached through the release of, you know, the stuff they’d accumulated in their nervous system, these beliefs that they’d accumulated because they’ve been told that they had a life changing debilitating disease that was going to progressively take them out over the next 30, 40, 50, years of their life, which also puts in their mind the idea of can they manage to have children can they manage to have a normal life can they manage a normal partner, etcetera, etcetera. Like the brain starts thinking about all these oh my god, my life is over. Can I manage anything that’s normal?

KW 24:58

KB 25:00
And I simply help them to look at a different way. Have you even got proof this exists? And when they started investigating the other side I have to go actually, there is no proof. There’s no evidence that this exists. They started asking better questions, which means they got better answers. And then of course, we cleaned out the nervous system and help them let go of all the nervousness and anxiety and anger and emotion and all the rest of it that had been not only created by this diagnosis but anything prior to that, that it led to the symptoms that created the diagnosis. And then you’ve got two very different, high functioning women who live normal lives, because they’ve been told otherwise, they’d been told different things.

KW 25:42
That’s beautiful.

KB 25:44
So ultimately, some people are not yet they’re still learning how to, you know, manage their own system. And what I mean by that is, is what they’re feeling in their own system, matching their diagnosis. It is it doesn’t match. Is it accurate?

Some people know how to use their kind of inner guidance, Sixth Sense intuition, whatever language you want to use for it, to know whether there’s something going on in this system. That doesn’t feel right.

KW 26:12

KB 26:14
You had that feeling when you were searching for answers, you knew that something wasn’t quite right. Now, I know that there’s a lot of people out there that know something’s not quite right. And it’s great to go and get answers. But I do also highly recommend you start searching for what is right.
So you get a little more balance in what you’re searching for. Because every single human on the planet has something going on in their system right this minute.

KW 26:46
Oh, yeah,

KB 26:47
It could be the most minor thing. But if you keep searching for it, you may not realize how amazingly powerful and healthy the rest of the system is, you may be too busy searching for that little 1%. That’s wrong, that you miss the 99%. That’s right. And this is where I encourage people to also focus on what what language they use, what words they use, when they’re talking about themselves, when they’re thinking about themselves. And when they’re thinking about their health challenges. We all have a layer or a level of health challenge

KW 27:25

KB 27:26
And at some times of the year, it’s more than others. If pain is real for you, then yes, your your focus and your attention is diverted from the healthy bits, because you’ve got some pain. But I encourage you to actually thank and congratulate the areas of your body that are working well right now. Let’s not neglect them, let’s not put all of our focus on the bit that’s not working well, or the bit that’s giving us pain. And actually allow ourselves to focus on the bits that are working well. And the more you focus on those bits that are working well, the more you help create the neural pathways of health in your body, rather than just the neural pathways of pain and dysfunction.

KW 28:16
I love that.

KB 28:18
Because ultimately, disease is literally lack of ease within the body. You keep working and focusing on the bits that are working. You create more ease in your body in your nervous system.

KW 28:34
I love that.

KB 28:42
Sometimes we don’t focus on health, because we’re so busy, focused on the bits that are not working right, properly right now.

KW 28:57
Right? And it makes sense. Because you know, as you’re going through this process with doctors, they aren’t ever really Oh, how are you doing today and expecting you to give a positive response. They’re like, what’s your pain level? So you’re gonna go look at what your pain level is. I want to actually go back to the multiple sclerosis example you’re giving because, you know, we’re talking about how beliefs can cause disease and everything, can also do the reverse. And so someone else who was a speaker, my Summit, actually had the MRI showed the plaque showed the lesions on the brain went back six months later, after changing pretty much everything he did to improve himself gonna hopefully have him on as a guest at a different episode. And he was going to one of the leading neurologist in multiple sclerosis in the United States. And the doctor’s like messages “I misdiagnosed you”.

But he decided in that moment, there is no way I’m not accepting this and decided to use the power of his brain and he is symptom-free of multiple sclerosis and has been for six years. And he was projected to be in a wheelchair within six months of that first appointment. And instead, the doctor could not allow room that this man had actually healed himself of a disease that doctors don’t even understand even the best, most, even the best neurologists don’t fully understand where multiple sclerosis comes from. So why in the world? Would it be out of the question that someone could actually fix that shit without medication? Why not?

KB 30:34
Why not? Why not? That there is so much evidence and proof of people who have healed themselves.

KW 30:41

KB 30:44
For all sorts of conditions, you hear of people in stage four cancer going into remission?

KW 30:53

KB 30:54
Why? Because they change their ideas, they change their thoughts, they change their beliefs, and they focused on something else other than the cancer. You can change the whole way your system works, by focusing on what you want, by focusing on the health, by focusing on the joy, the gratitude, the happy stuff. And I’m certainly not suggesting you ignore the problems. But there is no need to focus on them, because focusing on them expands them.

KW 31:32

KB 31:33
When you focus on the health, and you focus on the parts of your body that are working well. Thank them. I’ve often had conversations with my legs and thanking them for the fact that they carry me around every day. Because there are occasions they don’t want to carry me around. So well.

KW 31:51

KB 31:52
So I made sure and make a point of thanking them for carrying me when they’re capable. Yeah. The example you gave with the MS. I, I love the fact that you’re able to, you know, you’re spoken to someone who has the evidence has the proof that they can change their world. I changed my own world. We’re probably talking 15 years ago now. And it was before I knew NLP and the power of language. That’s probably what helped me dive into it even deeper once I found out about it. But many, many, many moons ago, I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome.

KW 32:29

KB 32:31
And I refuse to let them write down the word syndrome on my, on my documents. On my record. I said you can you can put the PCO in the polycystic ovary bit, because I had facts that that exists. I saw the ultrasound that showed the multiple follicles on my ovaries. I’ve seen that evidence, evidence. And I’ll put evidence in quotes in the context that I know that that can be healed. But at the time, I could see evidence that that existed, but there’s no way in heck, I was going to allow them to put the word syndrome on my medical record. I said, Where’s your evidence that I have the syndrome? Yes, I have the multiple follicles on my ovaries great. And I’ve even got some of the symptoms of what you would class as a syndrome. But where’s your evidence that I’ve got the syndrome and they didn’t have any?

KW 33:23

KB 33:24
And they said straight out? Well, your blood tests are not really showing us either way. And this is not really showing us either way. But generally speaking, if people have multiple follicles on their ovaries, and they’ve got the syndrome, I said, generally speaking, I said, You have no proof that I have the syndrome. So let’s not write down the word syndrome, because it’s just like the word disorder and syndrome, horrible words, that create challenge in our nervous system just by the language. I wasn’t having a syndrome, you know, gifting me a syndrome. No, I don’t accept. So it was even back then. That I knew that there was something negative about the language that they were trying to gift me with when that when it came to a diagnosis, and I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t accept it.

KW 34:16

KB 34:17
And I still to this day, don’t you know, I haven’t checked to see whether I still have the PCO bit. But at the end of the day, I get to choose the outcome of that as long as I’m aware that that stuff exists, and should I need to check for anything? Yeah, I know how to check. But there’s no way in heck, you’re labeling me with a syndrome just because it suits your medical model.

KW 34:42
Yes, I love that.

KB 34:43
You know, it’s like the word disorder. How often do they throw out ADHD as a disorder is if someone who you know is potentially challenged at focusing on one thing for longer than 20 or 30 minutes is suddenly disordered.

KW 35:01
It’s a superpower. I’ve been diagnosed With with attention deficit it fits. And it’s a superpower.

KB 35:11
I couldn’t agree more. The thing is, you even pick apart that language attention deficit. I have no interest in learning algebra for 14 minutes at a time.

KW 35:23

KB 35:26
Well, I promise you my attention is absolute deficit.

KW 35:29

KB 35:30
Based on the topic. And I’m also one of those people where variety is such a significant thing. For me, I love having multiple things going at once. That’s just how my brain works. I have the interest level in multiple things.

KW 35:45

KB 35:46
There’s nothing deficit about that. I just get to pick and choose when I have the attention and the interest in each of those things.

KW 35:48
It’s hyper productive, instead of hyper reactive, you’re hyper productive

KB 35:51
Correct. And I’ve met so many beautiful souls that have been labeled ADHD. And I guarantee you get them talking about a topic that interests them. They’ll chew your ear off for two hours.

KW 36:03
That’s me.

KB 36:04
There is nothing deficit about it. And I had a beautiful soul from the UK, tell me all about her ADHD. And we chatted literally nonstop for two hours. And I pulled her up after the end of our sort of two hour chat about amazing things. And I said to her, which part of this is deficit? And she said, Well, what do you mean? I said, Well, you told me at the start of this conversation, that you have ADHD that so I’m assuming there’s a deficit? I’m curious as to where the deficit is. And she said, are in my attention span? I said, so the two hour zoom, we’ve just been on? How much more tension? Do you think you should have?

KW 36:45
Right? You just stayed with this for two hours

KB 36:50
Two hours, you know, we haven’t even taken a breath. And she’s like, you can see the puzzlement across her face to go. What’s certain topics? I certainly can’t keep focused. I said, me too

KW 37:12

KB 37:14
You start talking about politics. I tune out, you start talking about algebra, I tune out. I talk about anything that I actually have no interest in. I guarantee you could label me ADHD.

KW 37:26

KB 37:27
Because based on the topic, I have zero interest, which means I’m going to give it zero attention.

KW 37:34

KB 37:35
Yeah, you get an ADHD kid. That’s preferably before they get put on Ritalin, and whatever other drugs they get put on, find their topic of interest. And I guarantee they’ll chew your ear off for as long as you let them.

KW 37:49
Oh, yeah

KB 37:50
That’s not attention deficit.

KW 37:52

KB 37:53
That is attention focused in something that actually brings them joy. Get our mainstream school system, or employment system, or factory worker system does not allow those people to have variety. And therefore they get bored.

KW 38:11

KB 38:12
or easily so do I. Because I get bored easily if the topic that we’re talking about or that we’re or that we’re focused on is not of interest.

KW 38:21
Oh, yeah. Same. I think everybody’s wired that way. You know, but you start talking about the metaphysical. You started talking about the power of the mind and what’s possible, like, you’ve got me with blinders on for hours on end, like I am fully focused in there. You want me to do my mail pile? Oof, that’s going to take a few rounds to like, get through that because it’s boring I don’t want to do it.

KB 38:45
So I don’t know how many small business owners I’ve seen like they’re often one person bands, right? I don’t know how many of these people that I’ve coached over the years were straight up ago, you I do have ADHD, and I’m like, Okay, we’ll get into that shortly. And all it turns out is that they avoid doing their paperwork or their taxes or their filing or the boring shit, right?

KW 39:14

KB 39:15
They avoid doing that. So do I why? because it bores me!

KW 39:19
Oh, so bad

KB 39:20
I doesn’t mean I’m deficit and it doesn’t mean I’m disorder. It just means it doesn’t bring me joy. So I put it off.

KW 39:22

KB 39:23
That also doesn’t make me a procrastinator because you give me a topic I love I’m in and I’m in fast.

KW 39:26
Yep. Same

KB 39:27
But I will never be in fast to the mail system or the filing.

KW 39:30
Yes, I accept that about myself. Now. I’m looking at my mail pile that I’m going to go through this weekend because it’s getting, it’s going to fall over soon. It needs a little bit of attention.

KB 39:42
Right, but that doesn’t mean you need to be labeled with these two ugly DS in the Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder thing you know?

KW 39:53
Yeah, true. True. Very true.

KB 39:57
Disorders How? How dare you label our people with this type of language?

KW 40:00
Ah, yeah

KB 40:04
It’s unfair. And for most people, of course, there are a few that are genuinely right in there with that. And, and the symptoms are horrible. But I know many, many people that have been labeled that when, to me, they just don’t want to tolerate the maypop mail pile or anything else. And I couldn’t think of a better thing for ADHD people than to label it superpower. I couldn’t agree more. Because you get on topic with these people. They are the fastest, most efficient people on those topics ever.

KW 40:53
Yeah. Oh, yeah.

KB 40:54
Nothing disorder about it.

KW 40:55
Yep. And that’s in the much to your point, like, I absolutely love what I do. When I’m with a client, like there’s nothing else going on. I’m fully focused on watching their neurology, helping them shift through looking for those little cues. And you can’t do that unless you are hyper focused. Right? It literally does not work. Like I was working with someone last week who was struggling with fatigue, and I tried a whole bunch of different things. And it’s just making her more tired. So like, okay. Let me just check your eyes again. Let me see if I miss something. And there was this the teeny tiniest little mistake mess on the side. But it was like making her fall asleep. I’m like, ooh, we found that fatigue. And so it was 30 seconds to a minute at the time. And at the first couple of times, her eyes started to fall on my stay with me, okay, take a break, take a break. And then we go a little bit longer. By the end, she wasn’t starting to fall asleep anymore. I wasn’t able to 100% clear it. But it was 75 to 80%. But if I adopted this, oh, I can’t pay attention. I wouldn’t even have been given myself a chance, I might miss something here. Let me just look at the eyes again. And I was like, you know, inches from her face. I’m like, oh, there it is. There it is.

KB 41:52

KW 41:53
And then I had something to work with. And it’s the same thing with trauma too. We get that label that pts and there is a D after it. Yes, you’ve had trauma. Yes, it’s messing with your brain. Yep, probably messing with your sleep trying probably Rican all kinds of havoc in your body. And it’s not a disorder, it is something that can be fixed that I was slapped at that label to same doctor said just take the DOA, you have post traumatic stress, okay. And I don’t anymore, I sleep fine. My body doesn’t hurt. Like, I’ve still got a hyper nervous system that I’m still working to calm down more. And I’ve made leaps and bounds of progress versus where I was several years ago. So. And it was pretty severe. From where I was initially, like I you know, and I was kind of giggling when she said the anger, you know, four hours or four minutes of anger causes six hours of I was pissed off for 40 years, no wonder my immune system was messed up. Like, I was so bad at everything. And all of that was part of the traumas that I experienced as well. So as I cleared the anger cleared the traumas, life is completely different.

KB 43:19
Yeah. Yeah. And this is this is a beautiful representation of how real people can change their lives by changing firstly, the language, but secondly, the meaning they give that language.

KW 43:32

KB 43:33
It’s okay that you’ve had pts. Most people on the planet have had some layer of that.

KW 43:40
Oh, yeah.

KB 43:41
But it doesn’t need to remain with you as a disorder.

KW 43:45
Right, yeah

KB 43:48
It can be something that you’ve grown from something that you’ve evolved from something that you’ve changed ways in your life, something that led you to a meeting to meet amazing people. And if it’s still affecting your nervous system, then seek help to clear it out because it can be cleared. And it’s done quickly and easily. It doesn’t need to be a disorder forever. It doesn’t need to disorder, your life.

KW 44:14
I agree.

KB 44:15
Cut that off, you can cut those chords, you no longer have to be part of the disorder or the disease. You know, so there’s so much opportunity to cuddle that. Change it for good.

KW 44:33
Yeah, so this sounds like a great segue into what I was going to ask as we’re starting to wrap up. This has been a beautiful conversation, Kim and I love that perspective on there. And I hope the audience has been listening to what she’s saying about not accepting what is your being told, like being adamant to not label worse than whatever is going on. Like don’t put a permanent label on it. Like that’s why I’ve got the whole you know, and that’s a whole NLP thing. We had a giggle back in my chronic doesn’t mean permanent, like, the, the intent of it is very well. But I could use a little bit of different wording in there because of the whole negation thing. But what would you suggest for someone who is maybe they were just diagnosed? Or maybe they’re trying to find this new neural pathway to help shift their reality? What kind of advice would you have for someone like that right now, Kim?

KB 45:30
Before you find that, you know that one beautiful soul or souls that’s going to help you through this. Just take responsibility for your own thoughts in this moment, in this exact moment. The fight and flight system is designed to work when we’re under imminent danger.

KW 45:51

KB 45:56
And realistically, we want to reserve the fight and flight system for imminent danger. Rather than just Oh, dear. I’m about to open an email from the boss. Or, Oh, dear, I just got a text message from someone. What if allow yourself to reserve the fight and flight system for real, significant danger. Train yourself to see the good in life. Train yourself to see the good in your body. Your body is whatever age it currently is. If you converted that to car years, and imagined having a 45 year old car, you would expect the 45 year old car to have a couple of things that need a little tuner.

KW 46:51
Yeah, wow, even having a car last 45 years is rare.

KB 46:54
Right? So why is it and this is the thing, this is why I use the analogy. We could all imagine what a 45 or 50 or 60 or 70 year old car would look like, and how it would function if it functioned. Yet when it’s our body, we start bitching and whinging as soon as something niggles.

KW 47:15

KB 47:16
Or as soon as something does not work optimally. If it were a car show, you’d go replace a tire or you’d get at a tuner. But we wouldn’t necessarily emotionally attached to that.

KW 47:28

KB 47:29
We just go get it sorted and move on. So have a think about your body, about the well-oiled fine-tuned machine that it already is. Yes, get the glitch looked at? Yes, get it sorted.
But give it praise for the number of years that it’s done great work. And being the home for you? How great is it that you’ve still got many well functioning parts? Yeah, I fully appreciate there’s probably areas of your body that are got some challenge right now and need some assistance. But think about the other parts for a bit. The bits that are working.

Your nice nails, your nice teeth, your nice hair, maybe it’s your skin looks good. Whatever it is, pick those parts and give them a little bit of your attention. Because often we’re very much distracted by the pain or dysfunction that’s going on in our body. And we forget to acknowledge the bits that are doing their job and doing their job well. So immediately, in this moment, allow yourself to thank the parts of you that are actually working well.

KW 48:46

KB 48:47
And I can already hear a few eye roles going on. There’s nothing that’s working well, right. I can already have hands on with me, right? But the reality is, yes, there are some parts of your body that are doing their job and doing their job well. Thank those parts and acknowledge those parts. Because if you recall to what I said about 30 minutes ago, the RAS the reticular activating system seeks out what you ask it to look for.

KW 49:13

KB 49:14
So if you keep asking it to look, and therefore thank the parts of your body that are working the way they’re meant to, that are doing a good job, you’re going to keep seeking out more parts to thank. Which means those parts that are not yet functioning to their full capacity might try and join the party

KW 49:35
Ah, I love that.

KB 49:36
By coming onto the other side and coming into the I work well party, rather than where they’re at at the moment. So keep focusing on the good bits of your body of your life of your soul of your you know your personality. All those other things because there are many, many parts of your body right now that are working well.

KW 49:57

KB 50:00
And they’d love to have your attention.

KW 50:02
Yes. That’s so beautiful. And what kind of ways can people work with you, Kim? Do you do group one on one? And do you have any upcoming programs that maybe you have a waitlist open for something where people can dive in and start to shift their neurology straight away? As soon as they’ve heard this podcast?

KB 50:20
Absolutely, I work one on one with coaching clients all around the world. And that is open and available. At any time, we simply start with a discovery call, which is an hour to an hour and a half, where we dive into what’s happened. And it’s the only time we talk about the past. The only time I need to know what’s happened now, again, not in big gory detail or anything like that, I just need to appreciate and understand the events of the past. Once we’ve had that conversation, we stop talking about the past because we don’t want to keep reinventing it.

KW 50:52
Yeah, yeah.

KB 50:54
And we allow you to go through what’s called a breakthrough where we neurologically clean out all the stuff, stop carrying around the baggage. Now I work one on one with people, it’s all customized in that context. That’s why I have a discovery call first to find out what am I working with and how big or small or whatever it is the program might need to be.

The other option I have is NLP courses. Now, these are life-changing courses, whether you want to head into being a coach or not the journey you go through and the language you learn, and the understanding and appreciation you learn is massive and life-changing, great for physical wealth, physical health, physical wealth, relationships, you name it, any area of the life that needs tweaking, and improving, I get to literally show you and step you through how to change your your world, through language, and through cleaning out the nervous system. I also run retreats and things like that. But that’s all available on my website to be able to have a look at and just start the conversation with me. You know, I love chatting as you can tell, just start the conversation with me. And we’ll work out what’s best for each individual client.

KW 52:17
I love that because I’m hearing in there that you’re listening. And then you’re customizing what that person needs based on what you’re hearing there. And that’s beautiful.

KB 52:25
Absolutely. I think the most important thing is that the client gets heard and understood. And then we map out what that looks like for that person. Because humans are not a one size fits all.

KW 52:40

KB 52:43
Being so how can we have a one size fits all solution? It’s just not the way it works?

KW 52:47
Yep, I couldn’t agree more. There’s some things that can be standardized, but it’s still unique within each individual. exactly what’s happening, what that looks like. So what is your website? Kim, we want to make sure that we’re putting that out there. And I’m gonna have it in the show notes as well.

KB 53:05
Yeah, Dr. Kim brown.com. Pretty simple.

KW 53:07
Very simple. Okay. Yeah. Very good. So yes, you’ve heard her reach out to Kim book, your discovery call, have a chat. She’s very approachable. She’s very knowledgeable and see if she can help you with whatever it is that you may be dealing with. Thank you so much for joining me today Kim is great to have another chat with you and learn from you. And I just I love your whole energy and and your attitude, meaning and I don’t mean that in a negative way, of course of the Okay. Yes, this is what happened. And then it’s the forward focus in there that I absolutely love. Like it is important to know the history. And what are you going to do with that going forward. And how can you turn your past into your superpower.

KB 53:51
Yeah, I have a saying that I utilize in my courses a lot and it’s fumble forward. But fumble forward.

KW 53:55
Nice. Nice. I totally have a visual of like someone grabbing the ball and then run for the endzone.

KB 54:00

KW 54:02
Love that. Any last words that you want to leave the audience with today before we wrap?

KB 54:10
Follow your gut

KW 54:12

KB 54:13
So often, humans actually know what’s going on with themselves. And if the advice you get is not quite right for you, there’s always a second opinion. Or third, or fourth, follow your gut and focus on the good in your life.

KW 54:37
I love that follow your gut and focus on the good. You heard it from Dr. Kim Brown. Thank you so much for joining me and to everybody listening. I hope you’re gonna join me again next week. I’m going to have Dr. Mary Sanders joining me and she is going to be talking to you about the risks of burnout and how you can turn that around for yourself again on the other side, and then till then please never forget you can accept the diagnosis and you’ve even heard examples of this today but you don’t have to accept the prognosis

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  1. It’s perfect time to make a few plans for the long
    run and it’s time to be happy. I have read this put up and if I may I desire to counsel you few attention-grabbing things or tips.
    Perhaps you could write subsequent articles relating to this article.
    I want to learn even more things about it!

    1. I encourage you to sign up for my mailing list on my site. If you just wait for the pop up, you can enter your email address. I focus a lot of my working on changing the brain and calming the nervous system.

    1. Thank you for taking the time to share your feedback! I’m so glad you found it helpful and interesting!

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