EP 67: The key to healing yourself


In this episode, you will learn: 

  • What struggles or obstacles you face in your own healing journey
  • What to do for ultimate health and well-being
  • Where to start on a self-healing journey
  • Tips your self-healing journey
  • How to create the desired life for ultimate well-being

Episode 67: The key to healing yourself

Katie Wrigley  00:05

Welcome back to The Pain Changer Podcast®. This is episode 67 and I’m your host Katie Wrigley. If you have attended any of my recent events like my seminar, my masterclass, then you know that I am a huge advocate for finding the key to healing yourself. Today’s guest shares that same mission. So stay tuned. That’s coming right up. Joining me today is Dr. Lynn Carey. Dr. Carey earned a doctorate in chiropractic and a bachelor’s degree in nutrition from Life University. She owned a practice in Wilmington, Delaware for 18 years and has traveled to Brazil and India. Dr. Kerry loves empowering others to create their desired life of health, wealth and perfect self expression. Today she stays busy pursuing her entrepreneurial dreams and homeschooling her teenage son. Welcome to The Pain Changer Podcast® Dr.Carey, I’m so grateful to have you join me today.

Lynn Carey  01:00

It’s an honor to be here, Katie. Thank you for having me.

KW  01:03

So I figured we’d start out with, what are some of the struggles that led you to your own health self healing journey. Lynn.

LC 01:10

So when I was 14, I was diagnosed with scoliosis, which is curvature of the spine. And by 15, I had the spinal surgery where they put the Harrington rods in my spine to straighten it. And that left me sick and in pain for years, not just pain, but just even getting sick, strep throat chickenpox, had to get eyeglasses, like everything just started to deteriorate. Because my immune system was so compromised from that surgery, but no medical doctor ever connected the dots, they never addressed that the surgery could have done that. And they didn’t know what I should do to get better except to give me another drug, whether it was an antibiotic or a painkiller, and it just kept. It didn’t help. And it just led to the symptoms getting worse. And so I just was very depressed and desperate that, you know, this isn’t gonna help. And there was already a level of depression before I even got diagnosed with scoliosis. And I always like to address that, because I really believe symptoms are an outward manifestation of mental emotional struggles that people are going through. And I just thought there had to be more to life than what I was being shown as a kid. It was like you go to school, you work hard after school, you know, I had a job, you know, I just wanted my family working all the time. But there was no joy, there was no happiness. And I like this. Got it. I don’t want it this isn’t fun to me. And I excelled in school because I thought I was supposed to. I did what I was told. But I was miserable. And so I just remember even being in the hospital was like a respite from my life. You know, when I had the surgery, which is sad to say, but I think that happens with people like that you’re way out, because you just there has to be more. And then I was in college doing what I was told that, you know, you have to go to college to get a degree to be successful in life. And I was still just like not finding my way. And someone gave me a pamphlet on chiropractic. And it said the power that made the body heals the body. And I thought all these years, why hasn’t someone said that to me. And I just went to chiropractic school on that philosophy. I didn’t get adjusted. I just went and it was a good call. Because when I got there, it changed my life.

KW  03:18

Wow. So you said a couple things there that really resonated with me. The first one is that a lot of times is the physical manifestation of other symptoms like depression, like anxiety. You know, we now know that trauma is actually stored in the spine. And I personally believe that depression and anxiety if we treat them as symptoms, rather than as a diagnosis, we’re going to get a lot deeper to helping people feel better. What do you think about that?

LC 03:46

I couldn’t agree more. I really believe it. We are all energy and that’s the one thing I learned in chiropractic school, there’s an inner wisdom that’s running your body all the time. I mean, we take for granted that all your organs are working right now, as we sit here, you can’t consciously do it. So if you recognize it’s an energy flowing in the body, your thoughts are energy, your emotions are energy. So if you’re not dealing with those aspects, eventually it’s going to manifest that energy has to go somewhere. Sometimes it just gets stuck. And I believe that’s what the chronic symptoms really are. It’s that stuck energy and then there’s a lot of fear that goes with it once you’re in that space. Yeah. And that it perpetuates. I know I was in the network for a long time.

KW  04:32

Yeah, absolutely. And again, we’re gonna be saying this a lot. I couldn’t agree with what you just said, you know, in it, and then it gets to a point where the nervous system is just so spun up, that it’s just fear and pain and fear and pain and fear and pain. And then when you get to that point unwinding it takes a massive mindset shift. Really big step back to be like okay, what can I do here to start to feel better? And yeah, that’s so powerful that you made that decision for yourself. And fairly early on in life, too. It sounds like.

LC 05:11

You know, I think it was just kind of by default, because I had been down the road of the medical world. And it was like about five years, and no one had an answer for me. So I kind of just surrendered. But yet desperate it was like, you hit a wall, you’re nowhere else to go. And I landed in a soft spot of a chiropractic world. It was, unbeknownst to me, I didn’t know what I was walking into. But it was really a cocoon of people who were doing health differently. And to have all this trauma and all these symptoms and be able to land in a place like that I had support that the average person doesn’t get. And I was learning about the philosophy of chiropractic, learning a different way of looking at the body,    , symptoms are good symptoms are your body’s way of communicating with itself. Maybe we shouldn’t be drugging it up, maybe we should let the fever run its course, maybe we should let the cold run its course because it has a purpose. You know, when you understand, and what the body’s trying to do, you lose the fear. And I also had to learn what the medical world was studying, all the medical terminology, all the ways they look at things, and they wanted to label your symptoms. And instead of empowering the person with understanding what’s going on with the body, they want to give you a big medical terminology, they call a stomachache, they’ll say gastritis, it sounds scarier, more technical, implement another study. And I thought, This is insane. I had to memorize these terms for the test. And I thought, This isn’t helping people understand what’s going on in their body, it sounds scary. So there’s more fear added there, and all they know how to do is either give it a drug or cut it out. And I thought, we’re not honoring the integrity of the person, that we’re not looking at the whole person. So I lost my fear that I couldn’t heal. Like, I think I’ve had a lot of fear that I’m going to be like this forever. That started to dissipate, because I was empowered with this knowledge, and empowered around people who were saying, hey, it takes time to heal, because it took you time to get this way. And I was like, Well, that makes sense. I only have time, what do I have to lose by trying this. But I don’t want to mislead people that it wasn’t I really don’t believe it was just chiropractic adjustments that fix me because it was not a quick fix at all, it was probably a good couple of years of getting adjusted, but changing my mindset, changing my lifestyle, and finding purpose in my life. I believe all these things. I moved away from the pain. You know, because my spine didn’t change, my spine still looks the same. It’s still missing parts because of the surgery they did to me. But I live great now. And 25 years later, or almost 30 years later, you know, and I was worse when I was younger than I am now. So I just like to give people hope, that I really, truly, truly believe anything can heal, and the power is within us and our mindset and our beliefs.

KW  08:03

Yes, yes. yes, preach, you’re speaking the truth. so deeply. I love this. Absolutely. And I’ve had a similar experience to that I didn’t have the extent of injury to my back that you did, but very similar. And I never had surgery to correct it. I don’t have any pain. It was my mind and stepping into my power. And learning that my body has an innate ability to heal. That’s what got me here. And it’s you know, and again, it’s not just that simple, like,  I just meditated. And I felt better. No, it was a journey. And it took time. And there’s a lot of different aspects, and I’m sure we’re gonna dive into that. I want to take away from what you’re saying. So you had shared some of the struggles that led you to the self healing journey. So now what were some of the struggles on the healing journey, because this is something that not everybody talks about. And I think it’s important to let people know just because you’ve decided to heal doesn’t mean that life is going to be roses and puppy dogs, like a big pharma commercial every single day. That’s not what a healing journey looks like. Or at least that’s not what mine looks like. So would you be willing to share some of the struggles that you’ve had on your healing journey?

LC 09:12

Well, I guess people need to realize, I guess it was like a 10 year period, I want to say from 15 to 25, I probably had different symptoms come up that I had to clear different patterns. So I remember there was a period where my low back would just go out, my legs would go out. I couldn’t sit, stand, and lay. And this would be on and off for a couple of years. And then I remember getting chronic headaches because I was so stressed in school trying to be perfect. Try to study hard. I grew up in a family where having fun really wasn’t honored. It was like you should just be working. And so I really believed that every time I started to have too much fun. I really found happiness in college. It was the first time I saw people enjoying life. But I think I started to self sabotage. I can’t be feeling good. I have to be worried about something. So there was menstrual stuff going on with me and there were headaches. So I can’t find out, you get rid of one symptom and something else comes up until you really get into that flow of your body got into practice and that’s when I really started questioning how people live their life. So that led to a whole nother aspect. But I think it’s really about giving your time. I think a lot of people want to give up because they think it should be healed already. So mine was a journey of years. And I guess, like I said, I had already done everything that the medical world could do, I really didn’t have any choice, but to kind of surrender to my body and go through the pain. So I can’t say I was making a conscious choice. It was just like, well, I guess I just have to be with this. And I watched one of your videos about feeling. You were set with the ball. You were doing the motion. And I’m like, that’s everything. People are afraid to be with the pain. You have to deal with the pain in your body and not realize that just because you’re feeling pain doesn’t mean you’re getting worse, actually, you could be healing because now you’re waking up into the body. So there’s a lot of different aspects going on when you’re going through a healing journey. It’s definitely not black and white. It’s definitely a gray area and everybody has a different journey. Because we all come from different backgrounds, cultures, beliefs, lifestyle, so all those things play into it as you heal.

KW  11:51

Okay. All right. I couldn’t agree with you more. Lynne. Everything that you just said has been spot on both in my own personal experience and what I’ve seen with others as well, you know, the healing journey, ironically, it’s not for the faint of heart. But people. And let me know what you think about this too. The people I know who are suffering with chronic pain are some of the strongest people I’ve ever met in my life.

LC 12:17

I couldn’t agree with you more and that’s what I share with people. And right now, if you’re dealing with chronic pain, or chronic symptom, or some kind of diagnosis, that’s really scary to you. I want to give people a different perspective, this might be the greatest opportunity in your life to become empowered, and to break free from this matrix that we were told to live in and really become the highest version of ourselves. It’s an opportunity. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy. But I would never change. Like, obviously, if I had to choose to have my surgery today, knowing what I know, I wouldn’t have chosen that. But would I want to change that journey, hell no. Because I live so free from health fears than I see most to the average person. And they still are ruled by fear of something, they’re gonna get something, they have something aging all these things. I don’t have any of that. Because I went through the journey. 

KW  13:16

Yeah, you know, and we were talking about how tough the healing journey is, I will still take any day over living in chronic pain, because it is so much easier to face the challenges that are along the healing journey than it is to try to navigate chronic pain and be stuck and limited with what they’re telling you with a lot of traditional medicine.

LC 13:34

So true. So true. Yeah,

KW  13:37

This is the easier path. For sure.

LC 13:41

And that’s when you’re like, you were brave. And I didn’t have a choice. I was living in so much pain. I could even throw myself somewhere. I just did the next logical thing I have to figure out. And my brain works like that. I wouldn’t know how, when, why, where.  I’ve always been like trying to figure things out on a deeper level, even as a kid and once I start knowing that there’s answers out there, I just keep going. Because I love it.

KW  14:05

Yeah, yeah, I do too. And so grateful for the people that led me to this path because I was in a similar place of just looking down the next 30-40 years of my life and this is not going to scale. Like just knowing I was not going to be able to tolerate the levels of pain. I was in long term. And that was all I was being told was that this was what it was going to look like. And it’s like, no, thank you. I’m going to find something else. That doesn’t hurt so much. There has to be another way there has to be and there is. 

LC 14:38

Absolutely I see that’s so awesome that you had the courage to say no, there has to be another way like you didn’t just accept what they told you. I think that’s so empowering. I always tell people to question everything you’re told, question a medical doctor, get a second opinion. Try alternative healers, you know, just get all the information and then sit with the information, see what resonates. And then something may work for you for a little while, and then something else is gonna show up. Because as you evolve, there might be something else you need to do. But it’s like one step at a time.

KW  15:09

Yes, absolutely. That’s key patience there and having that one step at a time. And I do want to get my doctors at the time some credit. So even though they’re all within traditional medicine, especially the pain doctor I was working with at the time, they were really big advocates of trying anything that worked for you. And you know, it’s like, I think I asked about the placebo effects, and if it works, it works. Why does it matter?

LC 15:34

Why does it matter? That’s right. And that’s a good doctor that you have. Try to figure it out, because there’s some who will say, you can’t do that, they’re not the ones you want to be with. You want the ones with the open mind.

KW  15:49

Yeah, they were absolutely incredible. And so there was the doctor and then the PA. The feedback I gave the PA was that you should deliver all the bad news in the world all the time, because he was so good at it. Like when he told me what the results were of my MRI, it wasn’t good. And I don’t want to go back there because I don’t want my neurology to relive it. But as he was talking to me, I was nodding, and I wasn’t feeling upset. But then I was walking in my car. I’m like, why don’t I want to cry. And then I looked at the results. I’m like,    , that’s why I was like, Wow, he’s really good at giving bad news. 

LC 16:25

But that’s huge, though. Like, that’s the thing. It’s a positive mindset. It’s the positive energy is that openness, that’s the part of healing.

KW  16:34

Yeah. And he was like, Well, what else are you trying? I’m like, Well, I’m trying a massage. I’m trying acupuncture, and I’m trying chiropractic. And he’s like, okay, great. He’s like, if massage gives you 5%, and acupuncture gives you 15%. And chiropractic gives you 10. Now you’ve got 40%, feeling better, just doing those things he’s like, so figure out what is working for you and get more towards healing. And as I found things that worked for me, and this has not been everybody’s experiences, this is why I really want to credit them. Not one of my doctors tried to tell me that it was bullshit, or that I should not be doing what I was doing. They all said, wow, hey, whatever works for you. Good job, keep doing it. Keep backing it.

LC 17:19

That’s phenomenal. That is everything. That’s the word you want to hear. That’s the kind of support you want. In your life. Not everybody has that you have to look for the right support too in your life, whether it’s from your health professionals, friends, family, you have to find those people who are going to think like that.

KW  17:38

Yeah. And so those were a team of doctors who I had when I was in Colorado, you know, and I’ve got good care here, but I sometimes clash with my primary care physician. Because she’s like, she’s very black and white rooted in traditional medicine. And so I go into her to see get bloodwork done once a year, just so I’m keeping up with stuff for insurance, but I’m not looking for anything wrong. I’m actually looking for, how healthy am I this year? I don’t tell her that, because they’re not gonna run the blood tests. But I know that I’m going in there going, let’s see how healthy I am. 

LC 18:13

That’s such a great way to take care of yourself. I love that.

KW  18:16

Thank you, it took me a while to get there.

LC 18:17

I know, I have to believe me it takes to be patient with themselves and not give up right away because it takes time. It’s a journey.

KW  18:27

It is. So what do you recommend for people? What do you recommend that they do for ultimate health and well being? What is the kind of overall recipe you’re recommending?

LC 18:39

Well, so as I practiced, in my chiropractic practice, I saw that there was a pattern, and I really believe that its lifestyle, and I don’t just mean how you eat and how you exercise, but I really believe it’s the emotional and mental stress, you’re under the relationships, you’re involved in. Family, friends, the relationship with yourself, your mindset, and finances, you know, are you are you do you have enough time? Do you have enough money? Like all those things I saw that really could be negative attributes to somebody’s well being. And you know, so I think one of the greatest questions is, are you living your desired life? And you, I think a great place to start is just journaling. I always tell him to put pen to paper, because something about writing is healing. It works your brain, it’s very good for the brain. And I think it helps you clarify what’s going on within you, and then  where to start. But are you living your desired life? Why or why not? And ask those questions you might not know the answer right away. That’s okay. You can start with making lists of things that you’re grateful for in your life, things that you appreciate. You can write down things that inspire you, even if it’s as simple as you went outside and felt the sun on your face today, little things because we’re so prone to look for the problems. This will help you start to bring awareness to what makes you happy, because that’s key. And what are your dreams, then you open yourself up to inspiration to guidance. And when you get these ideas, write them down. Eventually, you’re going to be led somewhere, you’re going to be led to the first step, whether a book falls into your lap, the podcast shows up on your screen, you know, things like that you’re gonna get answers in different ways from different people. And one thing leads to another, and that’s just a great place to start, I think is pen to paper.

KW  20:28

I love that. Yeah, journaling something I do more regularly now. I started doing Elrod’s miracle mornings. Have you ever heard of those?

LC 20:36

Yes I have. Yeah, fantastic stuff. 

KW  20:41

Yeah, even if you do like the quick savers, you only do 10 minutes, you already feel like you can accomplish anything that day. Because you already got that most people in a day. I love it. So where do you recommend people start on a health self healing journey. So if they’re hearing this, and they’re, they’re in these high amounts of pain, and there’s a couple people that I know, personally, that I really hope they’re hearing this episode, because I think your words are really going to help them see what they can do. So where would you recommend someone who’s at a high level of pain, feeling hopeless, their doctors are telling them they can’t, they can’t, they can’t, and this is as good as it’s gonna get, what do you recommend for that person Lynn?

LC 21:22

I think finding an alternative healer is a great place to start and not to say that they’re going to fix you, but there is going to be a good mentor for you to help you guide yourself through it. So whether it’s a physical therapist, a chiropractor, a massage therapist, and natural path, acupuncture, start somewhere, try different things, see what feels good. And that’s even maybe a bad term if you’re in a lot of pain, because sometimes I would get adjusted and feel worse, because it woke stuff up in the in my body that had to heal, you want to find the person who you resonate with their energy, they have an open mindset, they know that the body heals itself, you want to find someone like that, who can kind of mentor you through. And as you get body work done to yourself, I believe it helps you get connected again, with the body, you have to be with the pain, you have to be with your body, you have to get back into the body. Because I know I was, I had so much trauma, I think part of me left the body, I was not feeling my body, it was like just the board, you know, like a rigid board. And so getting back in there and really feeling the energy in your body. And I think an alternative healer or body worker can really help with that. So that’s a great place to start. But don’t discount the journaling. Because that’s a place where you can really get in tune with the emotional mental aspect of the pain. It can come through in your writing.

KW  22:39

Absolutely. And you could discover so much that you didn’t even realize was there just by putting pen to paper and saying, Okay, I’m just going to sit at 20 minute timer, and I’m just going to write even if I’m like, I don’t know what to say, you’re going to find something to say in a few sentences. You said something else really important there about the importance of experiencing the pain. One of the biggest mindset shifts that I try to encourage with my clients and I did for myself was to start to look at pain instead of it being punishment. Instead of it being the answer, instead of it being the end game. Looking at it is a signal from my body. And going through that pain in order to free it. And I said that to someone one time and like, I still haven’t found a way out of the pain without going through it. They’re like, I disagree. I’m like, how? I don’t know a way out of it. Because your body is expressing, like the fever is there for a reason. Like you said, the stomach ache is there for a reason. When we get rid of those symptoms, we’re basically telling our body to shut up. And it doesn’t like that. And so it’s going to keep finding different ways to talk to you until you hear it and like in my case, I had to be disabled before I listened. Doesn’t have to get that far. But when we can start to change that perspective and say, okay, my body has something to tell me right now, when we learn how to tune into it. The pain doesn’t last nearly as long. What have you seen with that in your own experience with your clients Lynn?

LC 24:09

No, I couldn’t agree more. I think that is key to everything. I always tell people, don’t be afraid of the pain. It has a message for you. And if you can just be with it and honor it. It’s already there. I think it takes away 50% of it. I think pain gets exasperated when we’re in a stress state. People would come into me and say  I just had this pain. It just happened. And I’m like, what’s going on in your life? Anything out of the ordinary? Are you more stressed? No, everything’s normal. And then they would tell me about their day. And I was stressed listening to it. I thought oh my god, they’re not connecting the dots at all that they are living in so much stress. That high stress lifestyle has become so normal that now their body has to break down to get their attention but they’re still missing. They’re not connecting that dot. Yeah. So like trying to get your attention for something. There’s something in your life and that’s why I believe it’s key. Okay, if you’re in that much pain, it’s great they can start with a body worker, but you have to start analyzing the mental emotional state, you’re in the relationships, the money, your jobs, you have purpose and passion and happiness in your life. Yeah, that pain is a message for something going on in your life that’s out of balance. So that’s why I think it’s so key. You have to really look. We can’t compartmentalize, you have to look at everything, because everything affects each other.

KW  25:23

Yes, it’s we are one body, if we treat it like silos, we’re never going to get the answer. It is one body, everything that is happening is affecting us, and those you said something key again, there, Lynn, the relationships, and this is something that can really be tough for people. And I definitely struggled with it myself, I’m curious to hear your experience. But in order for us to grow and be on a healing journey, it means that sometimes we have to let people go people who aren’t in alignment with us people who may be enabling us to stay in paid people who may be unconsciously, because none of that exists, I believe it’s conscious, unconsciously encouraging us to stay in pain, because that’s safer for them. And letting go so we have room for people who are going to encourage us to keep stepping up. So how, what have you seen in your own experience with that, because that was a really hard one for me. And there’s people I love deeply that I had to let go, because they were no longer good for me, they were no longer in alignment, and I was no longer good for them. I was no longer in alignment with them. It was a two way street. I just acknowledged it sooner than they did sometimes.

LC 26:35

Yeah, you hit the nail on the head, I walked away from a lot of people. I mean, my family and no disrespect. But I was raised in a strong Italian Catholic family, very old school. And my mom’s not open minded to things and a lot of codependency, a lot of negativity in the sense of they don’t want you to raise yourself up, you all have to kind of stay in the same place. Kind of in the struggle together. If you’re finding something better, they’re going to be like a wet blanket and want to squash your dreams, because it can’t be like that, that’s what I was around. So I had to really detox myself. And it’s not that I don’t even want to label anybody as bad or good. I don’t, I’m not angry about it. It was a great learning place for me. But it’s one of the most challenging, especially when it’s family to pull your foot out of it. Because I always felt like I had this invisible web holding me back. I’m like, What in the world? Why can I move forward in my life, you know, or what is going on. And because it’s your normal, you don’t even realize the dysfunction that you live in because it becomes so normal. But when you start to get to that place, a lot of people go right back into the pain or go right back into another drama they create because they can’t face that. A lot of people realize things that I have faced. I’m like, it’s not too popular for me to talk about because it’s family or you’re supposed to be a good daughter all these things, right. And I got to the place where I had to honor myself. My soul was screaming, follow your dreams, don’t care what they say to you and I struggled with that for years. And so it’s not easy. And that I believe is something a lot of people don’t want to face. And I understand why. Because it changes the dynamic. I mean, even the dynamic I had with my mom had to stay in a certain pattern that really wasn’t the healthiest for me to relate to her. And when I started breaking that, it just became very uncomfortable. But I had to do it, I got to that place. Finally, I believe that was the root probably of a lot of my causes. But you have to clear one layer at a time. But once you get to that root layer, it’s not always pretty.

KW  28:48

No, it’s not. But the other side is always worth it. In my experience. Always 100%. I actually had that conversation with a client earlier today. There’s someone else in their family that they love so much. But this person is getting a lot out of what they’re dealing with right now. And they’re putting it on the person I was talking to earlier. And I told them, I said it looks like you aren’t going to be any good to them. If you keep getting sick because of the level of stress this is giving you, are you in a place where you’re willing to set a boundary with them, so that they know what is and is not okay with you? And they’re like, Yeah, I need to do that. I can help you. I will help you. You need to do this for you. You cannot get sicker. In order to help someone in your family. You’re not helping someone in your family by getting sicker because of what’s happening with them.

LC 29:43

So true, and It’s easy to say it’s probably the hardest thing to follow through with. But I mean it’s worth it because you look back and you’re like wow I can’t believe I was given that much power over to the person or how much it was draining my energy. You know, and when you find that, what uplifts your soul? You can never turn back.

KW  30:12

Yes, yes, I agree. You know, and much to your point about it, that is absolutely one of the most difficult things like we went from relationships directly into families. And that’s one of the first things they teach you in coaching school is families are going to be the most triggering thing for everybody. Because there’s so much wrapped up in it, you’re  literally sharing DNA. I believe that we’re all connected, we have different physical bodies, we’re all connected. But when you’re connected on DNA level, that’s a whole new level, and it can be incredibly difficult. And it’s not like the family member just gonna go okay, I love you, you go ahead. Like that rarely happens. There’s usually resistance, sometimes they can be nasty, and they can lash out, sometimes you can feel like you’ve just blown up your entire family trying to take care of yourself. They’re making you the bad guy because you’re changing your paradigm, and it doesn’t fit into what they’re used to anymore. And that can be incredibly hard.

LC 31:07

Absolutely, I’ve really been going through a lot of that lately. But I’m proud of myself, because I got to this place that I’ve learned to finally take care of myself and honor what makes me happy. And I really believe we’re all here to do that. And it’s not to disrespect you’re not saying that they’re bad people you’re not trying to be unkind. You’re just really trying to stay in your new vibration that you found for yourself, because their lower vibrational densities that really get you stuck, you know, and that’s where you live in the pain, the poverty, the disease, all that stuff is in those lower vibrations. When you find what makes you happy, what when you find what makes your soul sing that lifeforce, that immune system, everything that flows through your body comes in 110%. And it raises your vibration, and you start finding joy in everything, even in the mundane. And that’s the place that I believe that’s truly our natural state. And if we can learn to honor that every moment every day to train ourselves to be in that place, that’s the soul’s journey, we’re here to really create heaven on earth, I believe that. So you have to be the example if your heart is telling you are called to that or it resonates. You’ve got to follow that path. And maybe that not everybody’s willing to come along right away. That’s okay. It’s probably most likely they won’t. But do they have to do it at their own time? Maybe they’re not going to get it in this lifetime? I don’t know. But I believe you chose that platform. In the perfect contrast you need it, to launch yourself into the higher vibrations.

KW  32:36

Yes, I absolutely agree. And as you were speaking, there’s something else that came to mind. It’s when you take that higher vibration, when you set that boundary with that loved one, whether they agree with it or not. And the chances are, like you said, there’s going to be some resistance, there could be some nastiness and lashing out. You’re also showing them love, and you’re allowing them the freedom to be where they are the same way that you’re asking for that freedom to move to a higher vibration, you’re also giving them freedom, which is one of the best ways that we can show love and respect for someone else is to let them have their journey.

LC 33:14

I couldn’t agree more. It’s so true. Because by staying in that old pattern, you’re enabling them to get to stay stuck and not face that they’re in a relationship with you. Right, they have to be responsible for their own soul’s growth, they can’t be dependent on you. And that by setting that boundary, it becomes very clear. It’s not like it’s not always comfortable. It’s like shining light on something they don’t want to see. But it does no good by staying in a codependent enabling relationship for either one of you.

KW  33:46

No, no, it’s draining to both people. It never ends. Well, whether it’s DNA related or by choice, like codependency is never going to be the answer for anything. And it’s also what makes that extra complex is codependency tends to be a symptom of trauma. So it can be incredibly difficult to break to start with. I’ve been having so many conversations around this lately, I just realized there’s a theme, but with boundaries and how unnatural it feels to put boundaries in place, especially with close friends and family. And like no, this is what we need to be healthy. And I love you. And this is why I am sharing this boundary with you is because this is what I need. And I care about you so much I want you in my life. And I want you to understand that this is what I need from you in order to be in my life. And then if they can’t do it, then you have to love them from afar. But really that was another big perspective shift that I made last year when someone had set a boundary with me and it was kind of painful at the time. And it was hard for them too and I said  what? I’m like thank you so much for doing this. Like you just helped me realize that we don’t set boundaries with people we don’t want around. We only set them with the people who matter to us. And that person was like, thank you so much like that just made it so much easier. And the boundary is absolutely in place. I have no problem with it whatsoever, and we have a wonderful relationship because of it. But if they hadn’t spoken up, their friendship would have deteriorated.

LC 35:11

Wow, that’s amazing. I love hearing that story and how that was a positive aspect. You know, like that really turned out divinely.

KW  35:19

Yeah. And it usually does, it’s when we can get out of our own ways. And just allow the ego. My ego that was being hurt, my heart knew this person loved me, my heart knew it. I knew that they wanted me in their life. And it’s like, okay, and then I, it also gave me the chance, you know, I had some shame around my behavior, I wasn’t being over the top or anything. But I took a couple actions that were really stepping on their toes. And I didn’t see it until they told me, but once they saw it, it was so easy for me to then see what they were saying, I could receive that feedback and do things differently. And we’ve been wonderful together since then.

LC 36:00

I love that because that’s really showing how you take full responsibility for your actions in your life. If we all were doing that it would change the world.

KW  36:10

And it can be hard to get there. And it’s letting go of that judgment and letting go of that shame. That’s another part of the healing journey. And that’s one thing I always encourage people is, let yourself experience whatever it is there, don’t judge yourself for it. Whatever you’re feeling you are 100%.

LC 36:28

Just like you say, we have to deal with the pain, right? We have to honor the pain, you have to be with those thoughts and emotions that you’re ashamed of, or that you think are bad, or that you think are negative. And I think that’s a great place. Like that’s a great place to journal, how angry you are journal, how much shame you feel journal, how much grief you’re carrying, maybe you might not get right to it. But the more you write, you might realize what you’re carrying. So you get that out on paper, it’s a great way to release. And that’s going to help you physically, emotionally mentally, because then when you honor okay, I’m allowed to feel this way, just saying that helps you move out of it. It’s when we keep suppressing, I don’t want I shouldn’t be feeling that way. Or I feel guilty feeling that way. You just keep going it up,  and you get really stuck there and spiraling. If you can just be with it. and honor that you’re allowed to feel this because all emotions are important. And then you’re able to move through and find the higher ones and to stay more and resonate there and live from a place there instead of staying stuck in those lower ones all the time.

KW  37:31

100% Absolutely. And it’s and it’s not easy to sit with shame. It’s even hard for me to admit it now but when I go back there, I’m like Yeah, shame is what I felt. I mean, I’ll take my trusty little ball, and I’ll get rid of it if it gets too big again, but it helps me to just have that awareness. And I don’t feel active shame about that. Now, just to be clear, like, I’m aware that there was shame involved, if I still had a shame pattern running, I would do something about it, much to your point, feeling that whether it’s physical or emotional pain, you’ve got to feel it to release it. It’s not going anywhere until you acknowledge it, period, end of story. It’s staying in your body until you feel everything that is there to feel and then you’re free.

LC 38:15

So true. That’s so powerful.

KW  38:19

So this has been awesome. Lynn, I would love for you to share, where can people find you? And how can they work with you?

LC 38:27

So I have a website, creatingmydesiredlife.com and you can find my book. I wrote my healing story in a book called “My journey to grace”. You can get my book there. It’s also on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. And you can email me, ask a question. I do healthy habits coaching, I also do this as mentorship coaching to become financially free. So if all those things are options, you can just join my mailing list too and just see what I write about, and get my FB on my list. So all those things are there on the website.

KW  39:02

Awesome. Thank you so much. And so can you work with people remotely as well as in person or just remotely? Or how does that look for people who are interested in reaching out to work with you more Lynn?

LC 39:12

Yeah, so I do everything remotely. Now I no longer practice chiropractic. I do just family and friends, but I’m not in practice anymore. In that respect. I’m doing more to mindset and helping people. empower people with their lifestyle. So it’s definitely virtual.

KW  39:28

Awesome. Well, you clearly know what you’re doing. You’ve got a wonderful mindset. Thank you so much for being here today. Are there any last tips that you want to share with the audience or any last words that are coming from your heart that you want to share before we wrap

LC 39:43

Just that you’re here to live fully, in meaning you’re here to find your happiness, your joy, and to live blissfully. You’re here to find heaven on earth. So don’t stop all those little heart calls you’re feeling you got to follow him. That’s the journey. That’s what we’re here for. So don’t push them aside. Thinking it’s not important than you got to go into the, you know, the struggle of life. It’s actually the most important thing you can do.

KW  40:07

That’s beautiful. That’s a wonderful note to end on. Thank you so much again for joining me today. Lynn.

LC 40:13

Thank you for having me. Katie. This was an amazing conversation.

KW  40:16

Yes, I enjoyed it as well. Thank you so much. I knew when we were talking about the topic of this the key to healing, I’m like, we have similar mindsets. I already knew some of your background and everything, but I’m like, this is gonna be a really fun conversation. And it was so thank you again. So thank you, also to the audience for joining us today. And I hope you’re gonna come back and join me next week. I’m going to be shifting a little bit and I’m going to be focusing specifically on the law enforcement community. I recently learned that police officers experienced an average of 500 traumas during the course of their careers and those are just on the job traumas they don’t include what happens outside of work. Next week’s guest is a former police officer turned mindset coach and he uses his past and his skills to help officers counteract burnout before they face their jobs. So come back next week, and hear what his journey has been like.

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